What To Do When You Feel Emotionally Stuck
And then something happens…
It feels like it all falls apart.
Your limiting beliefs come to the surface and you feel like you can’t move forward any longer.
Sound familiar?
There certainly are periods in life when we hit a wall and start to feel emotionally stuck.
When we are emotionally stuck life can be really confusing. It feels like we don’t have a clear picture, or a clear path.
These are the times we are clearly at crossroads.
Certainly this means we have reached a ‘juncture’ – a time when our heart and our head are not in synch and life isn’t flowing with us either.
I’ve written this week’s article to provide you with a resource which you can apply when starting to feel emotionally stuck, so that you can get unstuck, and keep progressing in your spiritual journey.
You Know What You Want But Don’t Know How To Get There
So let’s investigate what being emotionally stuck is…
Being stuck is a fearful gut feeling that something is not right, that you should not proceed, or you have no idea how to proceed.
Maybe you know what you would like to create, such as:
- A healthy new relationship
- A fulfilling career
- More prosperity
- A better relationship with (name of person)
- Improved health
- etc. etc.
If you mentally know what your goal is – yet emotionally don’t feel confident and equipped to create this goal – then you have a struggle going on.
You may even know logically the definite path you need to take, yet emotionally you feel inadequate, intimidated or overwhelmed – or at the very least confused.
If you have survival programs operating in your deep subconscious then your fears may be incredibly irrational. You may look at your environment, see many other people creating what you would like to – yet you have fear and blocks going on within you which feel really hard to overcome.
Gut feelings can be incredibly confusing and misleading. This can produce frustrating questions such as “Is this an intuitive message or not?” “Is this my gut trying to warn me about something, or is this just my own fear?”
Many people think their intuition is granting them a message – when in fact their gut feelings are coming from faulty belief systems formed in the past.
It actually isn’t until false belief systems are cleared that you do have access to clear intuitive messages.
Beliefs Opposing Wellbeing
Maybe your life has been so stuck in survival that you can’t imagine dreaming of goals and aspirations.
Okay…so what is really going on when you feel emotionally stuck?
I believe it is this…
We have emotional belief systems which are keeping us anchored in the opposite of the wellbeing we would like our life to be.
It’s really important to understand that belief systems have nothing to do logically with how you would like your life to go.
I find it incredible that we were educated to know very little about our emotional belief systems when they are running almost our entire life (95% of our choices and behaviours by the time we are 35 years old)!
What are belief systems?
They are thoughts / feelings that we repeatedly experience. The stronger the emotional charge that occurs with a thought, and the more often the thought / feeling occurs – the more powerfully entrenched is that belief system.
The unfortunate thing about faulty belief systems – understandably – is that they form around really important issues in our life. The things we feel most strongly about.
Belief systems become more than a habit – they become your way of operation – they become your way of being.
It takes great determination to change ingrained belief systems – and many of them remain undetected by people – simply because they can be so deeply unconscious.
Belief systems only become evident when people take the effort to become metacognitive (inwardly reflective). Belief systems are not recognised without insight (inner-sight) – and the logical mind is very limited in recognising and accessing belief systems.
The language of belief systems is not the language of the mind – it is the language of the emotions. It is as a result of becoming emotionally intelligent that you start understanding and working on your belief systems.
Here are some examples of common belief systems which can be in opposition to the wellbeing we wish to experience.
- Life is painful and a struggle
- I never follow through with anything
- People I love don’t support me
- People I love hurt me
- People I love leave me
- Nothing I do works out for me
- I don’t deserve anything good
- I always have to do everything myself
- I can’t trust anyone but myself
- When things go right, something has to go wrong
As you can imagine this list can be extensive…
‘Life’ is always energetically calling us forward into the flow of wellbeing, and expansion towards our Divine Good and is continually granting feelings, inspirations, messages and opportunities to achieve this expansion.
That is what ‘life force’ gloriously does.
However, as we know life doesn’t always flow like that.
The reason it doesn’t is because IF we have an associated defunct belief system in opposition to this expansion we hit a brick wall internally and / or externally.
Or we completely ignore the ‘cues’ of Source and egoically create another path with inferior choices as a result of emptiness, fear or neediness – which is all about seeking the quick fix to avoid dealing with emotional pain and our limiting belief systems (ourself).
Our disconnection from wellbeing is false belief systems digging their heels in, causing internal emotional pain, fear or doubt and / or something in life ‘showing up’ as the manifestation of a false belief system.
It is so important to understand – this is how life works when our inner world is not a match for our true flow of wellbeing.
The Results of Belief System Sabotage
Belief system sabotage whether internal or external feels like rubbish!
We feel all locked up, fearful and confused, and often something we did not want to happen turns up and knocks the wind out of us.
When we feel confused, scared and in emotional pain – what we USUALLY DO is go to our mind and start analysing!
Now that I really understand how to get clarity, relief and growth as a result of embracing and addressing the emotion – this fascinates me.
HOW is the human condition about experiencing ‘dilemmas’ and ‘emotional pain’, yet we were NOT taught the true solutions to gain positive results from dlemmas and emotional pain?
I love the expression which I borrowed from Orna Walters – ‘blender brain’. This expression has really taken off in this community. NARPers send me this expressions in emails all the time!
‘Blender brain’ is exactly what happens when the results of a defunct belief system affect us and we try to work out logically what on earth the emotional pain is about.
All this ever does is separate us from getting in contact with the belief system – let alone having the ability to release it and change it.
By thinking about the emotional pain ALL we do is go over and over ’the story’, create more stress (high range beta-brain wave and adrenaline and cortisol), and reinforce the painful belief system by creating more associated peptide manufacture.
By going over the story with no resolution (we have no control over anything that isn’t ourself) we have just reinforced the negative belief’s power over us.
Have you noticed that when you are energised mentally that it is incredibly difficult to get solutions? You know nothing works for you when you are obsessing in your mind. You know you are only ‘guessing’ – you have no true answers, and you keep going back version, after version, after version – trying to create yet another logical answer to get some peace – but to no avail.
It is scientifically proven that high range beta brain wave is NOT an intelligent or effective brainwave. It is ONLY suitable for primitive survival functions, and has access to nothing other than primitive, fearful, self-preserving thoughts.
What it does is scan information from the past, logically go on ‘what it knows’ (the triggered false belief system) and tries to create strategies from past fears as to how to offset danger and retain survival in the future. A future your brain has NO ABILITY to predict!
If the past belief systems are very twisted and fearful – beta brain wave (stress / fear / self-doubt / panic) can make people do some pretty deranged things.
Such as words and actions which can’t be taken back and create immense damage.
When we attack emotional pain with logic it hurts even more and we may get incredibly obsessed about our problems to the point where they feel all consuming. Now there is a bigger problem when we can’t let go of the issue and reach inner peace.
If the painful emotion continues, we need to self-avoid to cope. The choices are – use addictions to distract from the pain, medicate to dull it, or project it at and attack someone else in order to offload it.
Making Room For Infinite Intelligence
Have you ever noticed that when you let something go that often in the most incredible (even miraculous) ways the solution presents itself, or exactly the information you need just shows up.
I can assure you there is NO coincidence that this often happens in your life. This is the reason why it happens….
… because you got yourself out of the way.
You became ‘no-one’.
You were no longer identified with your personality (ego), you are no longer obsessing about what you did or didn’t have, what people think, what happened in you past that hurt you on this issue, your fear in the future about this issue, or the doubt / fear / lack or panic now.
When you get out of the way you be-come peace. By being it – it comes.
You grant the space for something else to present itself. This ‘something else’ is Who You Really Are – your Infinite Intelligence. Your Infinite Intelligence can only come from within.
It is only by letting go of your attachment to outcomes and conditions needing to be a ‘certain way’ (conditional living and loving) that you can just ‘be’ and allow this bigger part of yourself to ‘show up’.
It will only present when your ego is not in the way.
This ability to open up to something bigger than your limited self is not accessible through your logical mind.
When you are in high range beta (blender) brain you are cut off from your Infinite Intelligence – you are stuck with your limited ego trying to battle it out with the world around you (defensive survival programs) – and of course the results are awful, because you are not in flow with the well-being of life – you are separated from it.
Not only are you separated from your life – the REAL truth is – you are separated from yourself.
This is actually the greatest source of pain in your entire life.
All other losses and separations and hurts are really just representations of your separation with yourself.
When you are connected to yourself there is nothing you can lose that was worth having, and there is nothing that you really are which can be taken away from you. You are all that you need right now as well as the embodied potential of All That You Are To Come.
Which Mind Is In Control
The illusion is that your logical mind is controlling your emotions, and therefore is what you need to work with.
Ask yourself – “Really???”
Do you really believe that your mind has been in control of your emotions?
Simply look back at your life to answer that question honestly…
Here is a huge issue with the mind trying to control the emotions.
Emotions are the results of perceptions (belief systems) regarding the thoughts or events we experience. Within the chemical composition of emotions (peptides) we only have brain functions that exist within the range of those chemicals.
Therefore if we experience a trigger of incredible self-doubt, or self-condemnation the only thoughts we have access to within those events matches the chemicals of self-doubt and self-condemnation.
We may seek advice outside of ourself – how we should think differently, how we can think differently – and many examples of why we can think differently – yet our subconscious mind (where the belief systems reside) does not hear any of that and continues to keep manufacturing the corresponding peptide chemicals. It feels differentlyto this ‘advice’.
If we are experiencing a very egoic fearful belief system that creates a heavy and painful charge (a trigger) – the brain wiring and functioning that is available at that time is low in consciousness.
The body has contracted, Infinite Intelligence has been separated from (pinched off), survival programs have activated and the thoughts which arise are victimised, egoic and lack personal accountability (because victims victimise).
Emotional intelligence on this issue is grossly underdeveloped.
Trying to logically breakthrough to yourself or such a person in this state (even after the event) may be incredibly limited. There simply may not be any access to the evolved perceptions regarding this issue – that brain wiring is simply not available yet.
Logical concepts (no matter how logical they sound) are not believed if they are not embodied.
How do we think, feel and behave? ….as per what we believe - as per our belief systems.
How To Get Unstuck
Can you imagine getting your car bogged in mud?
You know what would happen if you pretended it wasn’t and you put your foot down harder on the accelerator.
It’s the same with our emotions. The only reason we are having fearful, doubtful or confused thoughts about anything is because we have conflicts going on between our natural expansion of wellbeing and our belief systems.
This is how you can start moving past engaging your ‘blender brain’ and start opening up to Infinite Intelligence.
First of all stop doing the things in your life which are keeping your separated from yourself and are not allowing you to create a healthy relationship with you.
The truth is we can’t partner anything or anyone healthily in life until we have mastered how to partner ourself.
Partnering yourself means being intimately in connection with yourself. It means working on yourself.
Turn off the TV, walk away from the computer, stop texting or having to visit people and do activities to stay distracted from yourself. Go somewhere quiet with yourself instead.
Having a journal and a pen with you is a wonderful idea, because it really helps you access your inner self.
Feel into the confusion and the pain. Now here is the challenge – don’t think about it in outer terms such as “He did this, or she did that. How dare that happen etc.”
You need to understand this is the beta part of your brain which keeps you separated from yourself, energises your pain body, creates you as a victim and disempowers you every time.
Your ego loves creating belief systems and chemical addictions which not only keep you in pain – but also keep attracting the identical pain into your life.
This is also the ego’s way of refusing to be real or vulnerable. The ego loves denying pain, pretending it is not in pain and employs all sorts of defence mechanisms to hide it.
The ego is the classic ‘bully’ screaming with pain on the inside and pretending to be tough on the outside. The ego is terrified about admitting to anyone (let alone itself) any vulnerabilities – because it believes it will lose it’s ‘edge’ in life if it does.
Your ego loves to stay separated – separated from your inner being, separated from true intimacy and connection and ultimately separating from connection to the Wellbeing and Wisdom of life.
It is the total illusion of separation (because at subatomic level everything and everyone is connected) which causes the greatest human emotional agony in life.
Separation being the very opposite to Who We Really Are.
Maybe you realise now – your ego is the REAL narcissist.
So…
To get connected to Infinite Intelligence, and access emotional peace, solutions and direction in your life – chop your head off and put it under your arm. Stop looking to the outside and using the critical brain which loves to judge, uses false belief systems from the past to make decisions now, and has to categorise everything as ‘good’ or ‘bad’.
Egos have very little space for grey matter, bigger pictures or true holistic intelligence.
When you feel into the emotional pain (not the story – that is completely irrelevant) ask yourself “Why is this hurting? What is it within myself which is the real reason for this pain?”
By doing so and stilling your mind and being receptive to the answer you will start getting some amazing insights.
And guidance…
And solutions…
As well as incredible peace…
You will also start to clearly and deeply understand how that ‘outer event’ or ‘limited thought’ you just had causing you to feel stuck is a pattern. It is a limited belief which you have been playing out for a long time.
You will also get a sense of your own true power.
Which is ‘all of this’ (your life) is being created from within you.
You will then understand that when you change your perceptions and beliefs about yourself, and let go of the painful events of the past that your world will change beyond description.
Now you are evolving.
Now you are tapping into and becoming the Infinite Intelligence that you really are.
Now you are getting unstuck.
I hope you enjoyed this article.
Please share any questions and comments you may have in the comments below.
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