Emotional and Psychological Trauma
Tears,
sorrow, and disappointment are bitter, but wisdom is the comforter in
all psychic suffering. Indeed, bitterness and wisdom form a pair of
alternatives: where there is bitterness wisdom is lacking, and where
wisdom is there can be no bitterness. -C. G. Jung
I rely on program tools, wisdom and camaraderie to get me through
I
have found living with addiction to be confusing, painful, and even
traumatizing. Not knowing when the next crisis will erupt-wondering if
this family event will actually happen, will blow up, will pass by as if
no one had ever heard of it, or just be an empty ritual-has been
painful, mortifying, and scary. Life feels so unpredictable when
addiction has us all by the tail. I find myself living on the edge
emotionally, going from zero to ten and ten to zero with no speed bumps
in between. Too much stress, too much fear, pain, anger, or anxiety
makes me want to shut down. I go from emotional and psychological
overwhelm to numbness. It's my body's and mind's way of protecting me
from either exploding or melting down. Today when I feel on the edge and
flooded with more emotion than I can handle, I will pick up the phone,
go to a meeting, or take a break. I will breathe. I will remember that I
am on a path of recovery and I will use the tools of the program.
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