How To Overcome Fear And Manifest Your Dreams
So over the next two weeks I will be doing a two-part series on how to release fear that is holding you back, and how to grow and manifest anything that your heart desires.
In Part One I am going to share a principle that you can adopt right now that will be a total game changer for you.
As humans we always seem to have a tendency to overcomplicate things…
The best part about this principle is that it is SO SIMPLE, yet if adopted has the ability to completely transform your life…
From going around in circles repeating the same painful cycles, to forming a new empowered way of being that propels you straight forward to achieving your goals.
We know that to progress in our life we need to overcome fear.
This could be in relation to starting a new business, a new love relationship or simply deciding to start socialising and getting out into life and having more fun.
Some people may be naturally cautious or even fearful. Others may have experienced abuse as a child, or in love relationships and consequently suffer the associated traumatic symptoms such as CTSD, PTSD or agoraphobia.
Certainly individuals who have suffered narcissistic abuse often have deep and intense cellular trauma, which understandably makes them feel like contracting and hiding rather than expanding.
The truth is this… emotional embedded fear can be crippling, and it can seem like a daunting challenge to open one’s heart and be an effective creator when fear and pain prevails.
Our subconscious mind’s job (which communicates to us through emotional sensation) is to keep us safe from danger. The problem is, however, when the fear and pain of ‘danger’ has been overstimulated – our emotions may interpret anything new as risky.
Our emotions become like a virus program set on maximum security alert assessing anything ‘incoming’ as a potential high risk threat.
When we are living with embedded fear and pain we are caught in the trap of uncomfortable comfortable zones. We are dying on the inside because we are not growing – yet we are too terrified to do anything new to create our new life and growth.
This is a place of deep depression, and the extreme pinching off of the flow of life and wellbeing.
How Do We Know What Is Safe?
It would be wonderful if everyone and everything that we felt potentially terrified of could somehow qualify itself to us in a way which appeased our fear.
The problem is if we are closed off, shut down and fearful, our vibration does not accommodate this. We are not an energetic match for growth, possibilities and the open space for new and wondrous events and people to enter our life.
In fact Law of Attraction has been rearranging life to match us up with the events, people and situations which are a match for our vibrational offering as it stands. Therefore the ‘opportunities’ which have presented (if any do) are much more likely to grant us ‘more of’ the deep fears, constriction and pain we already feel.
The truth is this: In order to create anything new in our life we need to be open-hearted, we need to feel positive, and we need to be able to open up to the new possibilities and the joy of manifesting a new healthy expansion of our life.
I promise I hear you – I have known what it is like to have agoraphobia totally and feel incredibly unsafe in life. I personally understand just how crippling it feels to feel SO constricted that the very thought of opening up to anything new feels like you will be annihilated.
I went through an incredibly long, painful and slow journey to open up to life after my first narcissistic abuse experience. It took me a long time (over three years). After my second one it was much easier and I was able to break through much more easily – because I knew what I needed to do – and in fact received even greater insight (inner-sight).
This I understand very deeply…
We nearly always want something outside of us to help us feel better so that we can START to open up and expand.
But this is the deal….
You have to find the way to feel better and open up to YOURSELF FIRST and THEN you will be able to open up to life.
The Need To Move Past ‘Protection’
When dealing with pain and fear there is a time span where you need to stay locked down in order to emotionally survive. This ‘cocooning’ is needed to grieve, to feel safe and to start to heal. In fact it is a very healthy choice, and far more preferable than seeking addictions in order to try and avoid the pain.
But it is important to know that it isn’t healthy to stay in this ‘lock down’ position indefinitely.
This is where it is important to become a healthy partner to yourself – so that you can listen to and know yourself intimately. Time alone is definitely needed to work on yourself and heal your inner wounds, but staying protected and hiding from the world because of intense fear is taking it too far.
This may be your necessary position when you first start recovering, but your inner work needs to gradually, and then more and more create balance with ‘life’ as well.
If you prolong your cocooning period, your energy and life force will start shutting down. If the shutting down and pulling away from life has not included working on yourself then you will just stay stuck in the crippling peptide addiction of regurgitated emotional pain.
If you are doing inner work on yourself, you still need to co-create your expansion with life in order to stay happy and healthy. The inner work is so you can expand and co-create with life healthily much faster and more effectively than if you didn’t do it.
It also means that you won’t have to keep living out the repeated results of your unhealed wounds again, and end up AGAIN back at square one.
If you are not opening up into life to receive and create new things, then there are only three places (all ineffectual) that your energy can be focused on…
- the pain of ‘what is’,
- the ‘horror’ of the past, and
- the fear of ‘failing again’ in the future
Law of Attraction is a very simple principle responsible for everything in your life – and this simple principle allows us to clearly understand this: You cannot create anything new when your attention and energy is vibrating on ‘what you don’t want’.
This means – It is impossible to be UNHAPPY with your life now, feeling pain and fear and expect it to get better.
It simply can’t!
Anything or anyone you acquire from this emotional offering is only going to bring you (yes you guessed it) more unhappiness.
Inner and Outer Expansion
If you feel severely contracted and fearful of ‘life’ it may feel extremely difficult to get your focus away from emotional pain, fear, trauma and associated depression and helplessness. If you have been narcissistically abused all of these feelings are ‘normal’ side effects.
So how do we overcome the pain and fear, and the urges to contract and protect ourself so that we CAN open up into life?
And…
…how do we become an energetic match for the experiences that we want to have – when opening ourselves up previously caused so much pain and fear?
We need to understand that if we stay in fear and pain and try to get out there in life – it is likely we are going to BUMP into exactly the things that we fear.
To stay with the same formula (pain and fear) and expect different results truly is the definition of ‘insanity’.
I prefer to call it unconscious living.
What is the inner pain telling us? I believe it is telling us so much more than just – this is the result of what happened in the past.
I believe our inner selves are ALSO telling us “Don’t go out in life like that. WARNING! WARNING! Your vibration is wrong!”
I believe this is one of the major reasons we have fear. It is warning us. It’s how our emotions would feel before walking into a lion’s cage.
How Focusing On What We Don’t Want Keeps Us Stuck
We need to firmly embrace that life is not random and that we are not powerless creatures at the whim of life.
When we understand that we can be powerful conscious creators instead of powerless unintentional creators, we know we can purposely change ourselves vibrationally in order to change the results in our life.
Nothing in our life has happened ‘to us’. All of it has been called forth from some inner part of ourself as a vibrational match.
I want you to think about this. When we are vulnerable in life, which means when we feel fear, pain or doubt on any particular topic, we are a match for people and situations of the same vibration.
All abusers are vulnerable. They are people full of fear, pain and doubt – that’s why they lash out and damage other people. Likewise inconsistent and disappointing vocations, friendships, pastimes and even accidents and ill-health are all matches for fear, pain and doubt.
I hope you can understand now how it is not just preferable to clean up your vibration in order to expand into life effectively – it is essential.
This following sentence is the number one reason why people vibrationally keep matching up with what they don’t want.
Thinking that saying “NO” to something keeps it away.
I want you to really think about this…
When we realise there is something that is Not Our Reality – then we need to HEAL the pain of that enough so that we can STOP focusing on it.
Let’s say you have realised you don’t want pathological lying, abuse, non-accountability, malicious vengeance and adultery (sounds like narcissistic abuse yes?) in your life.
Let’s face it who would?
Ideally, now, because you know you DON’T want these things, you need to clear them right out of your vibration completely and get your vibration set and flowing on what you DO want which is:
integrity, support, emotional authenticity (accountability), reverence and genuine love and loyalty.
I want you to read back through those two lists of ‘what you DON’T want’ and ‘what you DO want’.
I want you to take very close notice of how these lists emotionally FEEL for you.
The first one – understandably feels vile.
The second one (especially when you have healed enough to really feel it) feels glorious.
The first list is NOT the truth of what your Soul intended you to live – hence why it feels so vile.
The second list IS the truth of what your Soul intended you to live – hence why it feels so glorious.
Can you understand this – and how powerfully your Soul truth speaks to you as per your emotions?
What is REAL for you feels great.
What is FALSE for you feels terrible.
You entire life is being orchestrated from deep within you. It is all coming from your subconscious programming which communicates to you directly via your emotions. Your emotional state on any topic in your life is exactly the results you are going to procure in your life on that topic – period – because that is EXACTLY what your subconscious programming is set at.
We can’t fake it, because it doesn’t matter what you try to tell yourself through your mind, and who you try to pretend to be in life. If you make out you are a confident person who has no emotional baggage, yet your inner being is screaming with fear, pain, suspicion and old traumas – those ‘things’ are exactly what will continue to appear and unfold in your life.
This could be the last business you lost a lot of money on and still carry the fear and scars. This could be the trauma of your previous partner who cheated on you and betrayed you. This could be the abandonment of your father which occurred 30 years ago and every man has left you ever since. And of course the list may go on and on…
Now this is a big KEY…
Even though your emotions on every topic let you know what your subconscious programming currently is, you DO have the power NOW to purposefully change your emotional state (by doing inner work) to change the results of your entire life.
You see – when your inner story changes your outer story will follow.
Once you change your inner story you will feel completely different about expanding toward any topic that you previously felt fearful about. It will feel possible, and even exciting, and it will not hold the pain and fear that it did previously. Then (and only then) will life reflect back to you the different results.
The Shift From Saying “No” To “Yes” To Life
To reiterate…
If your focus is stuck on saying “NO” to life – which means your emotions, thoughts and focus are on what you don’t want, you are going to feel terrified, angry, resentful, hurt and contracted about trying to make what you want happen.
It won’t feel possible, and the thought of trying to make it happen may even feel traumatic.
Is it any wonder you can’t expand and want to stay within your four walls, numb on medication or even underneath your bed sheets?
The only and real answer is you have to shift…
This shift means being able to feel, think and focus into and onto the energy of what you do want instead.
That is IT – that is your ENTIRE mission.
Why I say it is your entire mission, is because everything from that space becomes easy.
These are the results of vibrating at ‘what you do want’.
- What and who you start attracting is a match for ‘what you want’.
- Your inspiration and energy flows into the action of creating ‘what you want’.
- You receive ‘clues’, inspirations and sign posts from life leading you forward into your creation, and it feels natural and joyous for you.
Can you feel this…please do – because I am not kidding when I say the following…
Trying to expand into life and trying to create anything new when your vibration is set at what you don’t want is NOT effective. More than this it is disappointing and it wastes an enormous amount of your life in repeat painful cycles.
If you don’t go within – you are going to go without.
You cannot attract new abundance when you are smarting over financial disaster.
You cannot attract people with integrity when you are caught in the agony of being pathologically lied to.
You cannot manifest supportive, loving people when you resent the lack of loyalty and betrayals you received in your past.
You cannot co-create genuine love when you are torn apart because you received the agony of a love that wasn’t real.
How do things ‘become’ in your life?
You ‘be’ it and then it ‘comes’.
Being it means vibrating at the same energy frequency of it – pure and simple.
When you be-come the thoughts, feelings and behaviours of ‘what you want’ – then you are saying “YES” to life.
Please know I realise how powerless you may feel to shift from this painful focus into the focus of ‘what you want’, and in Part Two I will grant you more information to help you with this.
Because it is TOTALLY doable – I promise you!
Please let me know what you thought of this article and if you would like to hear more about Law of Attraction and Universal Law in the comments below.
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