I called her and asked how she was feeling. She said: “My life is screwed. Ever since you told me about your childhood and toxic relationship, I just feel I need to be with you. I haven’t cooked for a week because there is no food in the house. I couldn’t be bothered to go shopping. The house is a mess because I couldn’t be bothered to clean it. Why? Why is this happening to me. I didn’t ask for it nor did I go looking for it. Just release me!”
I could feel she was very disturbed, stressed and conflicted. I did not know what to say because I was now actually feeling better and getting regular sleep.
We hadn’t been talking for long when her brother arrived at her home. She said he normally does not stay long and she will call me back once he leaves.
During the break I had time to reflect on the effect our relationship was having on her and the intensity involved. I intuitively decided it was time to set her free!
An hour later she called and I said “I have been thinking about what you had said early and the effect it has on you. Maybe I am being selfish, so maybe we should..” and I struggled for words.
So she said, quite impatiently, “What are you trying to say? Just say it.”
I told her “There is a saying: If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, they’re yours, if they don’t they never were. So I am setting you free. We shall have no contact for one month, today is the 6th October, so no contact until 5th November. What do you say?”
Neytiri “If that’s what you want fine”
Jake “No, it’s not what I want. It is a suggestion. We should both agree.”
Neytiri “ Ok, fine – no contact”
Jake “Do you want a lifeline?”
Neytiri “No contact means any contact.”
Jake “Ok, fine, your choice. Just know that you are safe in my heart.”
And so started our month of total abstinence.
4 WEEKS TIME OUT!!
Having set her free was the best thing that happened to me in a long while. I realised that our relationship was made in heaven and not of our doing, so I was happy to Let go and Let God. I found a new sense of peace, joy and love in the relation and had lost all fear of losing her. Thy Will, not mine, be done! Also, I was now getting a good night’s sleep.
On the 22nd October 2011, I did the solo jump and fractured my ankle. If this had happened to me 6 months earlier I would have been a victim and blamed someone else for my predicament.
But right now, I felt strangely blessed. I had not broken any bones before. I learnt new skills, using crutches; it taught me humility and asking for help. It made me more empathetic to disabled people. I had a sense of joy and peace in my injury.
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