5th September 2011 – Neytiri – When can I call you? I’ve missed you.
5th September 2011 – Jake – I’ll b home in 30 mins..ish’llah
5th September 2011 – Jake – I’m busting!
Neytiri called and one of the things she tells me is that she feels like a teenager! I thought wow! That’s the same way I feel.
Also after this my feelings for her were totally different and moved to my head. I felt like I was in a constant meditative state and like a natural high. I could not and still cannot explain the nature of these feelings; but they are great. I call it the FORCE. I also started having a lot of sleepless nights, an experience that she started having as well.
I told her of my intense feelings and that I just needed to be close to her physically.
6th September 2011 – Jake – Hey Babe..forgot 2 tell u I booked in for a solo jump, (that’s a parachute 2 u)!
6th September 2011 – Neytiri – It’s not just the stuff you say, it’s the stuff you do that freaks me out too. Jump. What next.
6th September 2011 – Jake – The Mile High Club! Still horny like a toad. Love you..Ish’llah
7th September 2011 – Jake – The soul of man is an experiential acquirement. As a mortal creature chooses to 'do the will of the Father in heaven,' so the indwelling spirit becomes the father of a new reality in human experience..Ish'llah
8th September 2011 – Jake – Just to be close to you, babe Just for a moment, just for an hour
Just to be close to you once b4 I die
You see you're my heart, you're soul
You're my stone inspiration
I need you baby
After I sent the above, it obviously affected her in some deep way. She thought I wanted to be with here now. We had a long chat and I said I just felt I needed to be close to her before I die. No rush. When the time is right you will come visit me. She asked why I can’t go visit her instead and she promised she would make time for me, if I came.
I told her I could be there that weekend but did not feel comfortable visiting her, considering my friendship with Tsu’tey. I told her the only time I will visit her is to bring her home! It would be easier for all if she could visit me, away from her day-to-day responsibilities and she did not have any relationship with Mo’at, per se.
8th September 2011 – Neytiri – Where are you
8th September 2011 – Jake - @ home
8th September 2011 – Neytiri – Can I call you
8th September 2011 – Jake – Give me 30 mins. Ok?
8th September 2011 – Neytiri – Ok
8th September 2011 – Jake – Ok to call now
8th September 2011 – Jake – God, I give to You all that I am and all that I will be for Your healing and direction. Make new this day as I release all my worries and fears, knowing that You are by my side. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Please help me to open myself to Your love, to allow Your love to heal my wounds, and to allow Your love to flow through me and from me to those around me. May Your will be done this day and always. AMEN..Ish’llah
9th September 2011 – Jake – Another rough nite & still hav a stiffy, Dork!
10th September 2011 – Neytiri – Busy today cooking. Brother coming to watch soccer. You’re right, I’m coming to you when the time is right.
11th September 2011 – Jake – Don’t settle for the one you CAN live with; Wait for the one you CAN’T live without!
11th September 2011 – Jake – Hey Dork..go to www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk U can read/download The Big Book for free!..Ish'llah
Neytiri is very conscious of her physical appearance. I’m watching Gulliver’s Travel with my son and they play the Prince song below!
12th September 2011 – Jake – U don’t have 2 be beautiful
2 turn me on
U don’t need experience
2 turn me out
U just leave it all up 2 me
I’m gonna show u what it’s all about
U don’t have 2 be rich
2 be my girl
U don’t have 2 be cool
2 rule my world
Ain’t no particular sign I’m more compatible with
I just want your extra time and your Kiss..Ish'llah
15th September 2011 – Jake – I want you,
To want me
I need you,
To need me
I want to hold you
When I close my eyes
I see your face
I'm just not sure
How much my heart can erase
I can't sleep anymore
I can't think anymore
I'm goin' crazy with love
Over you.....Ish'llah!
19th September 2011 – Jake – Hey Darl..I had a mind-blowing session with T 2day. Looks like I'm stuck with u! All very spiritual & then I get this 2day.."I am no longer a prisoner of my past—past regrets, earlier traumas, pain and suffering.
I believe in miracles and a joy-filled future.
I gain the courage to let go!
I let go.
Of everything.
Period..Ish'llah!
I went to visit a shaman(T) who told me I have known Neytiri for more than 23-24 years. She said “Do you believe in past lives?” I said “I do now.” She started her consultation and she said my mind was very busy and lots of decisions were in my head, like “How is this going to end? Is it morally right? etc, etc. She went on to ask me what happened between us 23 years ago.
I related the story and she said “Ok, what could you have done differently?” I said: “I could have responded and kissed Neytiri back.” She said “That’s not it. You could have seized the opportunity, but because you did not the bond is now stronger!” Wow.
She also gave me some affirmations to help me overcome some shortcomings. I asked her why it is I cannot cry. She said I used to cry a lot until the age of 7-8. She said “You want to cry but disassociate yourself. This stops you from crying. You can and will cry.”
19th September 2011 – Neytiri - I'm so happy for you, for us. I just feel really happy.
21st September 2011 – Jake – Hey Ms Happy...glad u r feelin so, cause I'm pretty much wasted!
T gave me the following specific affirmations:
"I AM GOOD ENOUGH!
I now choose to see myself as the Universe sees me – perfect & GOOD ENOUGH
I renounce all labels that LIMIT ME
I see great potential in myself
I choose to be free from under-estimating myself
I AM GOOD ENOUGH!"
Your conscious unconditional love adds power to this, so get a lovin!..Ish'llah
21st September 2011 – Jake - Thank u..can feel the love & joy..Ish'llah. Now pls go shopping ; talk to ur BIM or take a nap, so I can get a good nites sleep. Hav not had 1 in 2 wks!
22nd September 2011 (via Skype) – Neytiri - so did you get a good nights sleep then?
22nd September 2011 (via Skype) – Jake - No & I'm like a Zombie!!
22nd September 2011 – Neytiri - Are you busy tonight? Feel like calling you every day.
22nd September 2011 – Jake - Ditto. Call me on
22nd September 2011 – Jake - I feeeelll u, bitch & it hurts sooo goood!..Ish'llah
As previously stated, we were both experiencing sleepless nights on a regular basis. My feelings were also more intense and more in tune with her, e.g. I could feel if she was anxious, conflicted, etc
I also noticed my lips always felt dry and chapped, which was unusual for me at this time of the year. I asked Neytiri if her lips were chapped and she said “Yes”. I was like some sort of physical manifestation of our bond.
23rd September 2011 – Jake - A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we’re pretending to be. Each unveils the best part of the other. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we’re safe in our own paradise. Our soulmate is someone who shares our deepest longings, our sense of direction. When we’re two balloons, and together our direction is up, chances are we’ve found the right person. Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life.
23rd September 2011 – Neytiri - F**k. I can't concentrate now, i was reading,
23rd September 2011 – Jake - There are 4 types of people in the world:
1. Asleep - people who act and don’t think
2. Analyst - people who think and don’t act
3. Empty - people who are constantly active, filing themselves with the wrong thing
4. Complete - people working to change themselves and fill up with Light
Move from asleep to complete today
23rd September 2011 – Jake - I need u to unlock my locks with into-me-see. So keep asking me for intimate details..Ish'llah
23rd September 2011 – Neytiri - Go on skype. I'll message you there.
23rd September 2011(Skype) – Neytiri - : i'm not sure if i was ready for that definition of a soulmate. i'm freaked out. you'll have to give me time to digest it.
23rd September 2011(Skype) – Jake - No wuckers..I had another sleepless nite, so it is an early one for me. Have a good weekend & we'll see you on the other side, hopefully well rested..Ish'llah
That's the definition I used in my speech!
23rd September 2011(Skype) – Neytiri – I love you
23rd September 2011(Skype) – Jake – More than hamburgers?
23rd September 2011(Skype) – Neytiri – sorry in a world of my own.
23rd September 2011(Skype) – Jake – ditto...now get busy on something else so I can rest!
23rd September 2011(Skype) – Neytiri – paaaash.
25th September 2011 – Jake - Assume the responsibility for your fulfillment – or surrender to uncertainty and permit it to run your life, and create havoc at its whim.
After I sent her the above, she asked Tsu’tey if she could visit me. The conversation went something like this:
Neytiri : Can I visit Jake? I feel drawn to see him.
Tsu’tey: On your own?
Neytiri: Yes
Tsu’tey: Don’t you want me to come with you?
Neytiri: No, you can go some other time.
Tsu’tey: Well, I’ve never held you back.
When next we speak, she tells me she read the definition of soul mates and asks me “I am your soulmate?
Jake “Without a doubt.”
Neytiri “I always thought Tsu’tey was my soul mate.”
Jake “Sorry to disappoint you. I’m no expert in this field and it may be possible to have more than 1 soul mate.”
Neytiri “The strange thing is that when I read your definition, you tick all the boxes.”
It was obvious she was very conflicted and probably confused. I told she has always been more spiritual but lacked awareness, whereas I had had a quantum leap on both fronts and was now very spiritual and aware. All she needed to do was work on her awareness.
26th September 2011 - Jake – Hey Dork..my apologies; I was not being true to myself & totally open in my sharing the other day. I need to make amends & finish what was started. Will u b available later? Let me no what time..Ish'llah
When I first started therapy I told Neytiri of the reasons for my co-dependency, namely rejection, abandonment & sexual abuse and she said “Stop right there, I don’t need to know anymore.” So I was surprised she had asked me to tell her about me childhood. Anyway I told her more details but probably only ½ the truth. Then the whole weekend everything I read, watched and heard shouted out “Open up”. And I realised I only told her half the story, hence my SMS above.
I told the full story and felt a sense of peace and serenity.
26th September 2011 – Neytiri - Finish gym at 12.30. Give me 10 to 15 mins to get home.
26th September 2011 - Jake – I'll give u time 2 scoff down a few pies:) will call u @ 1
27th September 2011 - Jake – Purple Rain!?
27th September 2011 – Neytiri - Can you go on skype.
27th September 2011 - Jake – Give me 5
27th September 2011 (Skype) – Neytiri - now i need to make amends. don't care if we are soul mates or not. i will spend the rest of my life looking for the keys to your locks. i have them, just have to find them.
28th September 2011 - Jake – The Serenity Prayer
God grant me the SERENITY
to accept the things I cannot change;
COURAGE to change the things I can;
and WISDOM to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.
29th September 2011 - Jake – Your words and actions are seeds, and we’re in spiritual planting season, so pay attention to the ways you plant in order to have a better harvest in the coming year.
29th September 2011 - Jake – Once in your life you find someone
Who will turn your world around
Bring you up when you're feelin' down
Nothin' could change what you mean to me
Oh there's lots that I could say
But just hold me now
Cause our love will light the way
Baby you're all that I want
When you're lyin' here in my arms
I'm findin' it hard to believe
We're in heaven
And love is all that I need
And I found it there in your heart
It isn't too hard to see
We're in heaven
30th September 2011 - Jake – No matter where you are or what you are doing, you represent something greater than yourself.
30th September 2011 - Jake – "Are you becoming increasingly artistic in your technique of leading hungry souls into the spiritual kingdom?"
30th September 2011 - Jake – Look into my eyes - you will see
What you mean to me
Search your heart - search your soul
And when you find me there you'll search no more
Look into your heart - you will find
There's nothin' there to hide
Take me as I am - take my life
I would give it all - I would sacrifice
There's no love - like your love
And no other - could give more love
There's nowhere - unless you're there
All the time - all the way
Oh - you can't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
I can't help it - there's nothin' I want more
I would fight for you - I'd lie for you
Walk the wire for you - ya I'd die for you
1st October 2011 - Jake – When we are alone, it’s all we see, and we can’t lift the curtain of darkness. We need a second set of eyes to show us a way out. Be that person helping someone remove their curtain, and ask for help lifting your own.
2nd October 2011 - Jake – Australia , meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is canceled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.
3rd October 2011 - Jake – The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated," or even "A Bit Cross."
The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since "The Blitz" in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out.
Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.
The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.
4th October 2011 – Neytiri – Pash x
4th October 2011 – Jake – Ditto squared
4th October 2011 – Jake – A person with whom you have an immediate connection the moment you meet - a connection so strong that you are drawn to them in a way you have never experienced before. As this connection develops over time, you experience a love so deep, strong and complex, that you begin to doubt that you have ever truly loved anyone prior. Your soulmate understands and connects with you in every way and on every level, which brings a sense of peace, calmness and happiness when you are around them. And when you are not around them, you are all that much more aware of the harshness of life, and how bonding with another person in this way is the most significant and satisfying thing you will experience in your lifetime. You are also all that much aware of the beauty in life, because you have been given a great gift and will always be thankful.
5th October 2011 – Jake – Hey Dork..u need to chill & stop agitatin. I had a bad nite cause of u:( I'll call u tomorrow around 11; we'll go 4 a ride & music. Let med no if u will b @ home. R clocks still the same in ..? I'm missin u so desparately:(
6th October 2011 – Neytiri – clocks are still the same. I'll let you know when they change. I have to pick up kid from the metro, she flies in around 11. Will text you when i get home. Can't sleep.
6th October 2011 – Jake – Thx. I'm @ the gym. Gettin hot & sweaty for u! Try some warm Milo or flick the bean. Works for me..Ish'llah
6th October 2011 – Jake – Also u need to sort out your chapped lips.
6th October 2011 – Neytiri - Trying but its so cold here its not working.
6th October 2011 – Neytiri - Don't feel like letting you work out. Feel like annoying you.
6th October 2011 – Jake – U can't annoy me. BTW which lips are u working on?
6th October 2011 – Neytiri - Need some help flicking the bean. Never was any good at doing it myself.
6th October 2011 – Jake – Just picture Nobby's Nuts & my tongue;) U'll b squirtin in no time
6th October 2011 – Neytiri - Home now.
6th October 2011 – Jake – Sorry; give me 15. Phone or skype?
6th October 2011 – Neytiri – Skype
6th October 2011 – Jake – Ok, may b a while before I can get to the computer as being otherwise used. Don't call me, I'll call u.
6th October 2011 – Jake – Sorry, still waiting for computer to become available..Ish'llah
6th October 2011 – Jake – The more joyous you are about embracing life’s little obstacles along the way, the greater the chances you’ll be in it for the long haul.
How appropriate!..Ish'llah
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