16th February 2012 – Neytiri – Won't be able to Skype today, i'm sorry. Miss you too too much, getting withdrawal symptoms. Talk to you tuesday.
16th February 2012 – Jake – If you think missing me is hard, you should try missing you.
A part of you has grown in me. And so you see, it's you and me together forever and never apart, maybe in distance, but never in heart...Ish'llah
When I ask, answers come.
When I seek, people cross my path.
When I knock, doors open.
This past week has being pretty “rough”. I have “rough” in quotes because that’s how I would have previously described it. But now I just accept it as it is.
Previously I would have thought why is this happening to me all at once? What’s the next “bad” thing to happen.
Wednesday, my head cold moved down to my throat and chest, which felt midly congested. My lips were burning like crazy and started bleeding! (I mean we are in the middle of summer, this does not happen to me in the middle of winter). I broke a tooth whilst eating a mint, a fungal rash re-erupted and I developed a huge blister on my toe! All this was my body telling me I had ingested too much junk.
Also, the 2 female nemesis of my life erupted this past week but that’s a whole separate topic for another conversation. Suffice to say, it really tested me.
Now I know there is no “good” or “bad”; “right” or “wrong” but thinking makes it so. I just accepted what it is. I have come to the realisation that whenever my life appears to be “good” I become complacent (because I’m the Man!) or whenever things appear to be “bad”, I am filled with self-pity.
That was the old me. Now I know it is all part of the plan; the journey my soul wishes to experience. However, my logical mind always wants to find the cause.
So I am reading the book “Came to believe..” and there is a chapter on "Coincidence?" The chapter relates the amazing line of events and situations that lead to answers and could not be logically explained. The simple answer provided is “I don’t know. I don’t attempt to explain with reason and logic why these things happen. When they happen, I just accept them.” Wow!
So now my goal is not to spend too much time and anguish making reason of events in my life.
Further on in the book I read the following : “God has a job for us to do. I have also come to believe that I must please God first, myself second, and everybody else third. When I can live and feel that way – and it isn’t all day every day – things seem to work out. When I try to run the show, everything goes to hell.” Awesome!
This is exactly how E, my sponsor, said I should live my life and how I have been living it since May 2011. I suggested to Neytiri that she should do the same (and anyone else reading this) but she struggles with this notion of letting go and letting God.
I know one day she will she the “light” and then she will have what I have. I truly wish everyone could have what I have,
Talking of Neytiri, we have not spoken for more than 10 days now but I am at peace. My impatience has not being triggered so I am glad, in a way. Also the FORCE has not been strong so it also makes it easier. However, my life does feel empty during these long periods of no contact and it sometimes feels surreal.
Watched “Last Night” (starring Sam Worthington, who plays Jake in Avatar) over the weekend and picked up a couple of salient messages.
149 days to go!
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