I asked Neytiri if I was her soulmate and she still had her doubts and was conflicted. So I read her the following without telling her what they represent (i.e. the title of the list).
CHARACTERISTICS OF SOULMATE EXPERIENCES
Copyrighted Material from the forthcoming book
Kindredness, Kinships, and Soulmate Experiences
by Robert S. Badame, Ph.D. and Shelley F. Diamond, Ph.D.
1. A feeling that you've been looking for each other all your life.
2. A deep sense of relief and visceral feeling of fulfilment in each other's presence. A driving need to be together. Separation may feel acutely painful.
3. A seamless sense of continuity, regardless of how long it's been since you met or last made contact.
4. A sense of security and confidence that you have a permanent bond that will endure despite separation, time, distance, or even death.
5. A mutual feeling of true selves being known, understood, and appreciated by someone essentially similar. Looking at the world with the same perspective.
6. An uncanny ability to perceive and echo the subtleties of each other's thoughts, and involuntarily experience the other person's feelings.
7. An ability to be comfortable in silence, minds entwined without words.
8. An inability to deceive each other, nor to manipulate without detection. The inescapable vulnerability, lack of privacy, and defencelessness may feel uncomfortable and thrilling at the same time.
9. An easily sustained deep intimacy with a lack of emotional barriers, even when you want or need them. There's a tendency to exclude other people, yet too much time alone together can create self-absorbed overload and burn-out.
10. Either an unusual lack of conflict or, for toxic soulmates, intense conflict based on competing similarities or denial/fear of similarities, despite being irresistibly drawn together.
11. A quirky commonality that is difficult to rationally explain. This may include a high amount of coincidence, synchronicity, and blended eccentricities.
12. A difficulty in being able to describe the qualities and significance of the relationship to others, but even those who are unable to understand your experience may have a strong awareness of and/or reaction to it.
13. The likelihood of having encountered one or more soulmates increases as age increases. The later in life a soulmate experience occurs, the greater the likelihood of having the emotional maturity to maintain the relationship.
14. The likelihood of finding a soulmate increases in places where you feel "at home."
15. The intensity of the soulmate experience increases along a continuum as the depth and complexity of similarities between the two people increases.
I told her that 97% of the list was true for me and she said same for her.
ROMANTIC SOULMATES
1. Romance deepens & permeates over time
2. Being together seems like foregone conclusion, undeniable inevitability
3. Appreciated exactly the way you are, including flaws
4. Communicate effortlessly, understand each other immediately, sixth sense of perception
5. Both feel known inside out, whole truth cannot be concealed or avoided
6. Few fundamental disagreements, can argue for fun
7. No one else can compete, bond is unquestionably secure
8. Challenge is to discover and welcome differences, make time to spend apart
9. Questions: How to get enough distance? How to keep from suffocating in the closeness?
10. Sex is an extension of the compelling closeness that already exists. Fluid feelings of "oneness" frequently flood sexual encounters.
I have not read the above to her but she can read it here.
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