When you have been narcissistically abused, regardless of whether you have been able to maintain No Contact or not, you may be feeling the intense agony of what the narcissist did to you.
You may be so blocked up with the junk and toxicity that it feels overwhelming.
You may simply be trying to survive and function, despite the pain and trauma, which is excruciatingly difficult.
These painful thoughts and feelings may be - the way the narcissist discarded you and replaced you as if you never existed.
Or the narcissist was continually accusing you of exactly the things that he or she did.
Or the loss of the resources, the love, the time and the effort that you invested, to be slandered by the narcissist and made out to be ‘the bad one’.
And of course you will be feeling the agony of the loss of the love and life you thought you would have with this person.
The excruciating pain is likely to be some, or all of the above, plus much more…
These emotions, understandably, due to what ‘he or she did’ may be causing you intense disturbance, grief, pain and even rage.
And as we know, the inevitable lack of accountability, remorse or repair by the narcissist is not helping matters.
What you must understand is this:
These intense thoughts and feelings are blocking you from beginning the recovery process.
When you are stuck in the agonising thoughts of ‘what he/she did to me’ it is very hard to have any space to feel okay, or to bring forth your recovery or any of the good stuff in life.
Step number one of your recovery – is to release these emotions.
Not only will this grant you emotional and mental relief, it also begins dissolving many of the powerful hooks that are keeping you connected to the narcissist.
Not only will this grant you emotional and mental relief, it also begins dissolving many of the powerful hooks that are keeping you connected to the narcissist.
Beginning your recovery from narcissistic abuse, is done by creating detachment from the narcissistic literally (by keeping No Contact) and emotionally by creating relief, so as not to keep the abuse and the pain going.
The relief you initially require, is to do with lessening your thoughts and feelings of the narcissist’s bad behaviour, which is continually resurfacing and emotionally and mentally throttling you.
One thing is for certain - you cannot get the narcissist to help you with these emotions, in fact the narcissist will do anything but.
The truth is you are the only person who can release and amend these awful feelings, and the terrible toxic obsessions consuming your life.
I am going to be straight with you; recovery is not going to a walk in the park.
But I know you can do it, and I am going to help you get there.
To be able to start recovering, you need to start clearing your pain, in order to be in the right space to begin your healing process.
When we have intense pain caused by someone else, and we have not found out yet how to assist our own emotions, it is a natural tendency to go to the source of the pain and try and get closure from the narcissist.
If you feel the urge to do this please read this article: There is No Closure With Narcissists. This article will also provide you with knowledge on how to move on after a narcissistic relationship.
In order to start getting relief, you need to accept that you are the only person who can release these obsessive thoughts and feelings.
Be kind to yourself and don’t beat yourself up for what happened.
Keep No Contact no matter what! That means no emails, text messages, or checking his or her Facebook or staying connected with his or her family or friends.
If you are in an arrangement such as custody where contact is necessary (and a third party cannot be used) – please exercise Modified Contact with strict boundaries and arrangements. (Refer to your No Contact eBook)
Please know that when you start relieving and letting go of the pain, you will start moving forward into your ability to create wellbeing, and naturally start breaking free from the narcissist mentally, emotionally and physically.
If you can focus on and start creating this yourself by journaling, utilizing your chosen therapy, or simply deciding to ‘let it go’ and focus on healing yourself then you are on your way to recovery.
If you are struggling to let go of the obsessional thoughts and pain, and require some help, then please know the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program can assist you, as the ‘shifts’ for Step One are included in Module One of the Program.
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