Step 5: Let Go of the Fight to ‘Win’ and Create Decency

Step 5: Let Go of the Fight to ‘Win’ and Create Decency

After letting go of the pain of the injustice and the betrayal you will discover that any of the narcissist’s actions (if they are still coming at you) will carry much less of an emotional charge.

 

You will notice that the narcissist’s attempts to derail you and hook you are not working as powerfully as they used to.

This is because you are disconnecting from being a source of narcissistic supply to the narcissist, which means that he or she soon will realise that they can no longer get anything from you.

Without you handing over emotional energy there is nothing left for the narcissist to gain and none of your energy to use against you.

You will also find that your outer life is opening up more and more with opportunity, good feelings, fortuitous events, and you have started feeling a connection and a gratitude to life.

You are no longer stuck in obsessively focusing on and unconsciously manifesting more injustice and betrayal into your life – you have started aligning with the good stuff, regardless of what the narcissist is or isn’t doing.

Now it is time to consider the next step of your healing journey.

The next one, step 5 is about letting go of the fight to ‘win’ and create decency.

This step is powerful and vital.

Step 5: Let Go of the Fight to ‘Win and Create Decency

So much of our human conditioning and programming is to be incensed about wrong doing and to combat it order to try and make the wrongdoer accountable.

This always sets you up for failure with a narcissist.

You will have experienced that every time you try to expose the narcissist, try to make others aware of what he or she is, and try to corner him or her into taking responsibility, being remorseful or making amends, that these episodes are fraught with pain, frustration and even more twists and turns which end up with you feeling more abused, and you being the one who is discredited.

Trying to ‘win’ against the narcissist and force accountability is one of the biggest mistakes people who have been narcissistically abused can make – and it is one of the GREATEST HOOKS that keeps you handing over narcissistic supply, allowing him or her to keep abusing you.

 

Trying to force the narcissist to do anything to help you feel better means you are playing straight into the narcissist’s hands.

The urge to ‘win’ is enormous for most of us, and it can destroy us. Every time you walk into the ring with the narcissist to gain the upper hand you will simply be knocked down again.

It is incredibly powerless to live by the belief “I am in limbo and can never be happy until justice is done”…truly that is a waste of the life you are meant to live, and can live.

This is not the lesson – you are not here to ‘win’ in the normal sense. And you can’t.

You have been brought to this place in your evolution and healing ‘journey of self’ to understand a deep inner truth – claiming your True Self and detaching from people and experiences that don’t match it is the greatest win you can achieve.

Because when you reach this level, the narcissist, and what he or she represents will be far from your reality.

Let the narcissist win this game – take yourself out of game. This is not a game anyone wants to win. His or her game is a false game of charades and ego. The game you want to win is true love, and a real healthy life – THAT is your game!

When you do the work to achieve the ‘shift’ in this step you will experience great relief, and will have a greater sense of closure than the narcissist could have ever given you.

This is the only way you can achieve that – because the narcissist was never going to grant it to you.

Narcissists just don’t do that.

And you will deeply know that life will look after the narcissist, and somehow, somewhere everyone will be accountable.

Because a false life that does not come from integrity and truth is a house of cards that cannot stand the test of time – and always eventually crumbles.

However this is the narcissist’s life and business – It is not yours. And it certainly is not your reality.

The ‘how’ or ‘when’ this accountability occurs to the narcissist is not something that concerns you – because your emotions, identity, and creation of the truth of your life is NOT dependent on it happening.

The healing process of step number 5 allows you to break free from this deadly hook – and will eradicate a huge amount of the toxicity in your emotions and you mind, releasing you to an even higher level of freedom and relief.