INFERIORITY
IS A CHOICE
I was aware that I felt inferior
from a young age. I knew that I was inherently inferior and unworthy. My Mom
felt this way, also, it seemed to me. It was a comfortable and safe place for
me. I was very identified with and attached to my feeling of unworthiness. In
fact, it felt much better to me to feel and act inferior than to act
superior.
It was only after I read The Seat of the Soul in 1989 that I deeply understood that my feelings of inferiority came from fear inside of me. Before that, I felt that was just the way I was, and it could not be changed. Then, I realized that I actually felt superior to people whom I thought were acting superior, and these experiences also came from fear-based parts of my personality! When I initially discovered these things about myself, it was very painful.
Then, I had the biggest realization: if my experiences of inferiority and superiority were coming from parts of my personality and not from who I really was, I didn't need to habitually act on their behalf! I became so excited to know that every time these parts of my personality became active, I could choose to act from parts of my personality that are based in love instead. This was an amazing discovery, but it did not change my life. What changed my life, and continues to change it even as I write you, is my commitment. It is my commitment to using my will to not act from the parts of me that still believe that I am inferior/superior and that the Universe doesn't really love me. These thoughts come from parts of my personality that are based in fear, too. If I don't challenge these parts, they continue to act through me in fear and doubt, and that becomes the energy I contribute to myself and the world.
My daily practice and deepest intention is to become aware of these fear-based parts of myself when they are active in me and to choose to act from the healthiest parts of my personality that I can in that moment. In fact, as I am writing you I am challenging that part of me that feels inferior yet again. It came up this morning before I sat down to write. Instead of letting it have its way, I am challenging it by writing these thoughts from the clearest place in me that I can in order to share with you what is most important to me.
It was only after I read The Seat of the Soul in 1989 that I deeply understood that my feelings of inferiority came from fear inside of me. Before that, I felt that was just the way I was, and it could not be changed. Then, I realized that I actually felt superior to people whom I thought were acting superior, and these experiences also came from fear-based parts of my personality! When I initially discovered these things about myself, it was very painful.
Then, I had the biggest realization: if my experiences of inferiority and superiority were coming from parts of my personality and not from who I really was, I didn't need to habitually act on their behalf! I became so excited to know that every time these parts of my personality became active, I could choose to act from parts of my personality that are based in love instead. This was an amazing discovery, but it did not change my life. What changed my life, and continues to change it even as I write you, is my commitment. It is my commitment to using my will to not act from the parts of me that still believe that I am inferior/superior and that the Universe doesn't really love me. These thoughts come from parts of my personality that are based in fear, too. If I don't challenge these parts, they continue to act through me in fear and doubt, and that becomes the energy I contribute to myself and the world.
My daily practice and deepest intention is to become aware of these fear-based parts of myself when they are active in me and to choose to act from the healthiest parts of my personality that I can in that moment. In fact, as I am writing you I am challenging that part of me that feels inferior yet again. It came up this morning before I sat down to write. Instead of letting it have its way, I am challenging it by writing these thoughts from the clearest place in me that I can in order to share with you what is most important to me.
Love,
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