Dealing With Your Princess!

US funny man Bill Cosby once said that parents aren’t interested in justice when their children fight; they just want peace.

 

I’ve got to agree. So often we go to the child who will most likely listen and enlist their help to make peace.

 

“Just give it back. I know he shouldn’t have taken it but I just can’t stand the fighting!” Anything for some quiet!

 

However I think smart parents continuously coach their children in the art of resolving sibling conflict peacefully, or at least with a minimum of noise and disruption.

 

Here are some conflict resolution tricks to teach your kids:

1. Encourage them to read their siblings so they can avoid negative situations. This is all about avoidance and stopping fights before they start.

 

2. Teach children how to set boundaries. “You can come into my room but you have to stay out of my toy cupboard. Ok?”

 

3. Praise problem-solving. Make a fuss when they work things out peacefully whether it’s compromising, taking turns or one child just giving way.

 

4. Help children identify the triggers for getting upset themselves and also when their sibling is likely to lose their cool. We all have hot buttons that when pressed will trigger and over-reaction. Help kids work out their hot buttons.

 

5. Reinforce with kids that they need to regulate their responses when a sibling presses their hot buttons. Kids don’t have to fight, argue, yell or whatever when a sibling gets up their nose. Give kids alternatives to their war-like responses. “Go to your room if he continues to annoy you.”

 

6. Teach respect. Respectful treatment is at the heart of civil relationships. Keep reminding kids to treat each other with respect; stick to dignified behaviours and also to stay within the rules of fair play.

 

7. Ensure restitution. Perhaps the biggest lesson kids can learn is to restore a relationship after conflict. “How can you fix this?” is question many kids need to hear.

Parenting should reflect real life as much as possible. In the world outside families, people don’t always like each other but they do need to get on with each other. These lessons about getting on are best learned in your family as a child.

Honesty

Honesty

Keeping secrets is a foolish attempt to stay safe from the truth. We tell ourselves we are sparing another person or protecting ourselves, but all too often the secrets that we keep actually keep us. What people need from me in order to make sense of me is the truth. When I withhold that truth, I withhold myself. I am creating distance that no one can cross because the way across the divide is the way of honesty. I cannot make something better by lying, and I cannot be fully understood if I won't give the benefit of the truth. I can live my life in a web of lies without ever uttering a falsehood. The web of lies is composed of not just what I say, but the vast amount of honesty that I withhold.

There is a difference between considerate honesty and aggressive frankness. Honesty recognizes the personhood of both people and is an act of trust; but too much frankness can border on mean.

I see honesty as an act of trust.

 

The weakness of a soul is proportionate to the number of truths that must be kept from it.
Eric Hoffer

THE FLAME THAT NEVER DIES

Do you know that your body—all the cells of your heart, your lungs, your liver, your brain, your skin, everything—changes in its entirety over 10 years? Yes, everything!

Now you may wonder that if this is so, how is it that we still remember where we were born, who we were born to, and what transpired in our life? Where is that place inside of our being that allows this to happen?

The reason that we remember these things—the reason we are a part of our own life’s picture—is because the root source of our being does not exist within our physical body. It can’t. And the proof is that our body changes almost completely over time, as we pointed out above. The body that we have today is not the one we had 10 years ago or the one we will have 10 years from now.

We can compare ourselves to a candle. What is it that allows the candle to burn and function as it should? Is it the wax? No. It’s the flame—the light—of the candle. With us, it’s our internal soul—the Light that we draw into our life—that moves us forward.

Step 10: Realise your Liberation, Freedom and Truth

Step 10:  Realise your Liberation, Freedom and Truth

All of the previous 9 Steps have been delivering you to this final Step. You have been working on taking your power back, releasing the hooks, pain and fear of the narcissist, and coming home to healing, recovering and claiming your True Self.

This final healing Step is where it can all come together. It's where your vibration rises so that you become the Law of Attraction authentic match of liberation, freedom, and the ultimate truth of being 'at one with self, and at one with life'.

Narcissistic energy is not the truth of life. It is a false life born from illusions, masks, deception, pain and fear. This is not essential living.

The very essence of life is love, truth, integrity, peace and joy. Our time with the narcissist showed us the pain of living illusions, it showed us our unhealed parts, it showed us how we were not being a true source to ourself.

As per our brutal experience we learnt if we were going to create a real and authentic life, we had work to do on ourself, and we needed to totally partner, love and commit to ourself.

This is what this journey has all been about. The gift and the glory of this journey is that finally we could get ourselves right. Finally we could learn how to value ourselves enough to firmly say 'no more' to the life and treatment and false love that is not our reality, so that we could become, live and create the true desires of our life and soul.

The individuals who dig deep and do the work experience exactly that. The coming out to the other side as empowered, whole and integrated beings. Loving and respecting themselves, knowing their truth and no longer ever again handing over their personal power and truth. They become true creators of authentic results with love and life.

This is what dedication to ourself and the 10 Steps manifest.

By the time we have reached Step 10, even though we may need to revist the previous 9 Steps from time to time, we have reached a level where we can claim our True Self. We can be grateful for our painful experience, no matter how hard it was, because we can now claim the gift of knowing that being narcissistically abused was the most powerful breakdown / breakthrough experience we could possibly have called forth for ourself.

When we have cleared enough of the pain and the illusions in our life, we can connect to our True Self.

In our True Self function we know that life is not created from the outside. We know that nothing on the outer is going to give us ourself.

We know how fruitless it was trying to hold another person responsible for our well being, and we know how powerless it is to function in these illusions in life.

When we connect to our True Self state, the truth sets us free. It feels solid, it feels real. The neediness and the pain of trying to get outside forces to fill us and fulfill us drops away. We feel whole and complete as we are, and we know that finally we are in control of our life.

No longer do we agonize and wonder or hope if life is somehow going to turn out right. We become 'life', we become the centre nucleus of knowing and being what we want.

We feel fulfilled and whole even before what we want turns up as a physical manifestation, and we can be joy and expansiveness as we are now. Feeling great is no longer reliant on 'the outer'.

The resentment, pain and regret from the past, and any fear of the future is replaced by peace and fulfillment, and the knowing that everything is in perfect and divine order in the now.

We experience the deep resonation that love, truth, growth and happiness is already present and taken care of in the future.

In this True Self state we know and believe that we can trust ourselves, and that we will no longer accept 'less than' ever again. We know that we are unlimited and can align with and create exactly what we truly want in our life, and can easily without pain and regret say 'no' to who and what isn't.

We know that no matter what life looks like now, or how many practical losses we may have suffered, our soul and our life is ripe with potential.

Our True Self nature is not a match for narcissistic abuse. It is the very opposite of fear and pain, it is a higher vibrational frequency that exists truly in a different vibrational universe.

Our True Self nature is love and acceptance, it knows there are no mistakes, that everything happens for a higher reason, and there is nothing to regret, and only liberation, freedom, joy and truth to create.

After working with and aligning with Step 10 you will feel free. An even greater space opens up for you that creates acceptance, it facilitates relief, and you will feel a powerful disconnection from your previous pain.

The impact this Step will have depends on how diligently you have worked the previous Steps, and what level you are at emotionally within yourself at this point.

If you are feeling disconnected from the narcissist, and you have started to feel and know your personal power expanding, this final Step will be very powerful for you.

Please know, that your are human, your are not expected to be 'perfect'. Even if you feel you are at this level, a time may come where pain resurfaces, and you may need to go back to some of the previous Steps.

This is normal, and in fact perfectly okay. This is always our process of evolution. When something comes up that hurts, we always have the incredible opportunity to take responsibility, go within, and heal an unhealed part that we have never been able to truly heal before.

The more we commit to doing this, the more we break free, evolve and create conscious and joyful lives.

It is only if we keep repeating the same patterns unconsciously, and dont take the responsibility to own our pain and work on ourself, that we remain stuck and living unfulfilling lives.

So please don't conclude that this final Step is going to be the 'end' or your 'final deliverance'. It will deliver you closer to your True Self nature, however your entire ongoing life is a commitment to shedding the fear, pain and illusions that have held you hostage your entire life.

You certainly can perform this Step in sequence, even if you do feel some hooks and pain. It will give you a boost, it certainly will help, and please make sure you commit to yourself by reworking the other steps diligently in order to heal your unhealed parts as needed.

This final step is very energetic in nature. It is very 'spiritual', in that it works on your soul at a much deeper subconscious level than merely a superficial mind level.

The final healing in The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program works deeply on your subconscious to achieve this Step of bringing you home to your True Self.

This following exercise is not as direct or powerful, however it will assist you to connect to your True Self nature. This can be worked at with an 11/11 process.

If you haven't already accessed or used my 11/11 process you can do so here.

Please read the 11/11 instructions carefully.

Use this following affirmation in your 11/11 process. 'I am my True Self nature of liberation, freedom and truth'.

This process will assist you in aligning with Step 10.

It feels like a 'goodbye' after finishing sharing these Steps with you, but I know that it certainly is not. This is the beginning of saying 'hello' to your true and real life.

Please know I am still here for you doing regular radio shows and blogs. I also personally connect to and commit with anyone in need who is working with NARP, to assist you as much as I can to become your True Self full potential.

Soul One (S)

How come, girl was there when I needed one
How come, girl was there when the song is done
Some say, open your eyes to a brighter light
Okay, open my arms they were right

She was my soul one
She felt she was the only one
She was the sun, the sky blue eyes
She was my soul one

Inside, pain in my heart often made her cry
Outside, I cursed the birds and the sugar sky
How long take to realize she's the one
How long until I find my lost and lonely soul one

She was my soul one
She felt like the only one
She was the sun, the sky blue eyes
She was my soul one

Should of never taken the time
'Cause I found myself living a lonely lie
You said, you left to find yourself
But I never, no I never got the chance to say good-bye

She was my soul one I though she was

The Reciprocal Flow of Abundance

When In Need

If you really need something from the universe, the best way to get it is by stepping outside of your comfort zone to help another person. It may seem illogical, but through giving, you create a space in which you can receive.

When you’re taking care of others, the universe takes care of you.

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Giving without Expectations
by Madisyn Taylor



It is in the act of giving that we find joy, without the expectation of anything in return.

Since giving and receiving are so intimately intertwined in our lives, we often expect that we can attract abundance by simply conducting ourselves in an openhanded fashion. Yet we find ourselves wallowing in disappointment when our ample generosity is not met with the expected results. The answer to this quandary lies in the expectations that, in part, initially prompted us to give. Though our intention is likely pure, we can unintentionally mar the beautiful experience of giving by focusing on what we will eventually receive in return. When we let go of the notion that we deserve to receive gifts based on giving gifts, bounty can once again flow freely in and out of our lives.

When the gifts you give are laden down with expectations, they cease to be gifts and become units of exchange that you are, in effect, trading for some reward. Thus, the reciprocal laws of the universe err on the side of the giver who shares for the sake of sharing. You may have seen this simple truth at work in your own experience, perhaps when life’s busyness prevented you from spending too much time contemplating the results your charitable actions would ultimately have on the lives of others. It was likely then that you received the greatest gifts in return for your kindness. If you have trouble divesting yourself of your expectations, you may need to reflect upon the root of your inability to act in the true spirit of giving. Each time you make a gift, whether spiritual or tangible, ask yourself if there is something you hope to receive in return. You may be surprised to discover that you expect to be repaid with an easy life, financial windfalls, or opportunities.

To integrate this most selfless form of generosity into your life, you will have to let go of your need to be in control. Accepting that while like inevitably attracts like, it typically does so on an unobservable timetable. This can help you stop weighing the gifts you give against those you have received. Giving eventually becomes a profound joy that stands alone, separate from any and all conditions, and you will learn to appreciate the flow of reciprocal abundance as a gift in and of itself

For more information visit dailyom.com

Step 9: Release and Heal the Connection to the Narcissist

Step 9: Release and Heal the Connection to the Narcissist

All of the previous 8 steps have been disconnecting your belief systems and energy from the narcissist, and now it is time to sever the connection to the narcissist’s energy so that he or she will never have the ability to destroy your emotions, self worth, and suck your happiness and life force out of you.

This healing step is powerful because it allows you to cut the chords energetically with the narcissist.

Some people do try to 'tie cut' the narcissist by using energetic visualizations and specific severing techniques at the beginning of their healing journey, but because the narcissist did come into our life for very powerful reasons - to heal our unhealed parts - is is vital that we work on our Inner Identity and unhealed parts first, before attempting energetic tie cutting.

If we don't, not only will the mental, emotional and psychic bonds with the narcissist continue, because it is our unhealed parts the narcissist can attach energetically to, we will also miss the incredible opportunity to heal the parts of us that called forth and allowed us to endure a narcissistic abuse experience - if we just try to keep tie cutting the narcissist instead.

This is why releasing and healing the connection to the narcissist is the second last step.

Energetically releasing the narcissist is about vibrationally letting go. It is about shifting one's energy from the narcissistic hooks into the divine state of True Self. In this state you will recognise your innate ability to bring forth positivity, happiness and joy into your own life freely.

It is the reclaiming of our true essential nature that just isn't a match with the narcissist.

During this step you will also let go of all the last pieces of grief, loss and pain. This allows you to freely move forward in your new life without past memories and old wounds resurfacing.

After graduating through this step you will feel intensely indifferent towards the narcissist. He or she just won't matter. It will be like this person is a memory of a memory.

The relief naturally is indescribable.

Many people report after this step that they are filled with energy, joy and purpose and are motivated to start creating a better life. Some people have even felt confident, positive and empowered enough to consider dating again.

As I have already expressed it is important to lay the ground work correctly with the other steps before attempting this step, as ultimately you would need to keep repeating it over and over again with only temporary relief occurring, as well as need to keep going back to the other steps in order to achieve a permanent shift.

Once ready to, if you apply yourself to the step, it will deliver you out to the other side - your True Self thriver nature - and away from being a mere narcissistic abuse survivor.

Now it's time to release and heal the connection to the narcissist.

This following exercise is a mini version of the Quanta Freedom session 9 - Releasing and Healing the Connection to the Narcissist in the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program.

Find a safe and space where you will feel comfortable and won't be disturbed.

Close your eyes and imagine all the last bits of your connection to the narcissist. Imagine these fragments as a swirling mass in the pit of your stomach. Now imagine sending these pieces up through the top of your head in a tornado spiraling upwards and releasing them to the Universe.

Imagine that this has cleared 'inside of you' a space, a space that can be filled with your True Self nature.

Now imagine a ball of light above you. Know that in this light is your divinity. It is Source Energy, life force, love and well being. Imagine a pipeline going up to this ball of energy, and drawing the energy down the pipeline into your being.

Fill yourself up with this energy.

Now imagine a little you - a smaller version of yourself. He or she may appear as a miniature version of you as an adult, or he or she may appear as a child.

The little you is your wounded inner child, the part of you who has been hurt. Pick up your little you and fill him or her up with the Source Energy, and then cuddle him or her into you, and let him or her melt and become at one with you inside you.

You can repeat this exercise as many times as you wish until you no longer feel any connection to the narcissist's energy.

Taking vs. Receiving

Taking vs. Receiving

There is a vast difference between taking and receiving. There is a way of receiving that is also giving. When I can receive, I act as a willing container for another person's gift. I validate the giver's act of giving and acknowledge his or her generosity. This benefits both the giver and the receiver in equal measure, both are enriched and neither overly depleted.

When I take, I do not acknowledge the gift - rather, I put in the purse of my being that which I want, then snap it shut and go off to take again, hoping that no one notices. This leaves both parties wanting - the giver feels she has been manipulated into giving whether wanting to or not; and the taker - because without receiving a person never really fills up - just continues to feel empty.

I can acknowledge a gift; I can receive.

 

Developing the muscles of the soul demands no competitive spirit, no killer instinct, although it may erect pain barriers that the spiritual athlete must crash through.
Germaine Greer

TO MOVE FORWARD

I recently read about a study conducted on three groups of people. One group discussed their personal problems and went home immediately after. The second group, after discussing their problems, went over the mistakes they made that led to those poor choices. The third group, instead of dealing with the past, looked forward and made commitments about what they would do different in the future. Each group was asked to repeat this process for five minutes a day. 

 

So, one group had no tools, one looked backwards, and the other looked forwards. Which do you think had more success? 

 

Many of us might believe it was the one looking forward, but it might surprise you to know there was the most significant improvement in the group that looked backwards, and traced over their mistakes. 

Putting one foot in front of the other doesn’t necessarily ensure that everything will improve – especially not if you’re walking down a road that isn’t in your best interest. The study shows us an important spiritual principle: If we want things to get better, it’s important to not only discover our mistakes, but to find out why we’re making them. Then we can do the real work to change. 

We all have self-destructive behaviors that lead us to make the same bad decisions. None of us are without our tendencies towards selfishness, instant gratification, laziness… all those things that block us from experiencing more success and fulfillment in our lives. 

But by digging a little deeper, we might just get to the root of the problem, and understand ourselves a little better in the process. Maybe we are sabotaging ourselves because we are afraid we will outshine someone close to us. Maybe we fail because we don’t really believe change is possible. Or maybe we make mistakes on purpose because we don’t feel we deserve a great life – one with all the successes and riches meant for us. 

This isn’t to say that we need to spend hours in self-reflection, but to stop the patterns that hold us back, it’s important to know where they are coming from. 

Sometimes to move forward, we first have to look backwards.

When we discover the reason for our negative behaviors, we stand a much better chance at changing them.

72 Name of the Week

Vav Hey Vav
TIME TRAVEL

I look back at the actions in my own life, and honestly accept my mistakes. My present is the result of those causes, situations and deeds that I created and can correct. I feel the need to change. I see my past and with conviction, I reverse those actions by changing my direction. I will spread joy and kindness, and I feel the beginnings of transformation – in myself, in my past, and in my future.

I Just Wanna Spend My Life With You (S)

Like a dream you can' t explain
Luv can chase a beating of your heart
Like the sunshining in the rain
Luv can make your whole world fall apart

All I wanted now, I just wanna spend my life with you
Time will show me how
Suddenly everything has turned me inside out
Suddenly luv is the thing that I can' t live without

You are my dream, my luv, my life
I just wanna spend my life with you
You are the one that makes me smile
I just wanna spend my life with you

God I luv somehow... I just wanna spend my life with you
You can show me how

Suddenly everything has turned me inside out
Suddenly luv iss the thing that I can' t live without

You are my dream, my luv, my life
I just wanna spend my life with you
You are the one that makes me smile
I just wanna spend my life with you
What have you done to me, is this how it's meant to be
Can' t control this feeling in my heart
I can see better days glowing inside your eyes
And I know you feel it in your heart

All I wanted now, I just wanna spend my life with you
Time will show me how
Suddenly everything has turned me inside out
Suddenly loves the thing that I can' t live without

You are my dream, my luv, my life
I just wanna spend my life with you
You are the one that makes me smile
I just wanna spend my life with you

Luv is a crazy thing, it's like when you wanna sing
And the words are deep inside your soul
When somebody comes along together you sing a song
You just let the music take control

And I wanted now, I just wanna spend my life with you
Time will show me how
Suddenly everything has turned me inside out, turned me inside out
Suddenly loves the thing that I can' t live without

You are my dream, my luv, my life
I just wanna spend my life with you
You are the one that makes me smile
I just wanna spend my life with you

Finding Encouragement

Choose Your Battles

We can always find something to argue about.

Or, we can choose to accept another’s point of view, even if it isn’t necessarily the one for us.

Be selective in your battles. Sometimes making peace (or being kind!) is better than being right.

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Your True Inner Voice
by Madisyn Taylor




The longer you listen to and believe your true inner voice, the stronger it will become.

Within each of us, there are numerous voices often that compete for our attention. It can be difficult to decide which one to listen to, particularly when their messages are all quite different, sometimes conflicting, and even alluring. One voice, however, is the speaker of truth. Among all your inner voices, your true inner voice is the one which encourages you, gives you hope, and pushes you to trust and believe in yourself. Conflict within oneself is often caused by dueling voices inside of each one of us. As we move through life, we get mixed messages from the various aspects of ourselves. Some of our voices, such as the naysayer or saboteur, can speak so loudly that they drown out the voice of truth. Listening to your true inner voice – often the voice of understanding, support, and self-assurance - can help lessen and even resolve internal conflict.

If you’re looking toward the future but your faith in your ability to succeed in life is wavering, you will benefit from finding and listening to your true inner voice. You can connect with it by remaining relaxed and alert, while listening carefully. If you have trouble distinguishing your true voice from the others, meditation may be helpful. You may hear many voices as you meditate, but the one you should pay attention to is the one that speaks to you with love, understanding, and compassion. It will bolster your spirits and urge you to go after your dreams. And it will never cause confusion, remind you of past mistakes, or cause you to doubt yourself.

The more you listen to and believe in what your true inner voice is telling you about your value and your potential, the stronger that voice will become. And the more you disregard the voices that can interfere with your resolve to succeed, the quieter those voices will become. Saying no to the voices that are judgmental and make you feel ashamed will help you stop being critical of your failures and afraid of success. By finding and strengthening your true inner voice, you will be able to ignore internal conflict and pick out the one that speaks the truth. For more information visit dailyom.com

God in Nature

God in Nature

Those who have been able to tune into and appreciate nature have had the ability to see God behind the illusion of reality. Though this world feels to me as if it is still and concrete, the truth is that it is always in motion. The world is in a constant state of birth and death, manifestation and destruction. Today as I walk through my day, I will look at the world through soft eyes, eyes that see not only at but through. As an exercise in raising my consciousness, I will remind myself throughout my day to tune into a world in motion. I will attempt to see the hand of creation behind all that surrounds me. When I look at the world, I will take a deep breath, quiet my mind and know that I am looking at the many manifestations of soul.

The world is God and soul made manifest.
 

The perfumed flowers are our sisters... the juices of the meadows, all body heat of the pony, and man - all belong to the same family.
Chief Seattle

Step 8: Release and Heal the Fear of the Narcissist and What He or She May Do Next

Step 8: Release and Heal the Fear of the Narcissist and What He or She May Do Next

This step is powerful and provides incredible insurance.

This is one of the steps that members of the Narcissistic Abuse Recover Program go back over time and time again to get powerful emotional relief when the narcissist is attacking them.

It is very ‘normal’ to be in grave fear when painful events occur, or when you are purposefully lined up and attacked. The narcissist thrives on your pain and fear, and it keeps him or her energised and ‘powerful’ in these behaviours.

Please understand narcissists are energy vampires – they are not the source of their own energy. They need attention; they need your vibration to exist in your life. And this only needs to be energetic.

Your fear, pain and obsession from a distance is enough to keep him or her coming at you and throttling you.

However when you shift, and release all the pain and the fear, and come back to your inner detachment and peace, incredible things start to happen.

The narcissist loses his or her power. The lies, the manipulations against you, and the actions intended to hurt you and cause you grief start being exposed.

The deceptive tactics fall flat and the deceptions get caught out.

It just happens, and not as a result of you combating the narcissist – it is as a result of your being.

This does not mean you won’t defend yourself.

You will defend yourself, but you will not be defending yourself from a place of fear, pain and panic.

You will be defending yourself from a place of solid calm, knowing and truth.

You will not be trying to expose the narcissist and pull him or her undone – you will simply be walking your truth in your own integrity.

I have seen countless examples of narcissists coming undone in property settlements, custody cases and joint business dealings, and display just how powerless they really are when their previous victim stops handing over energy.

Truly you may have to experience this phenomenon to really believe me – but I can assure you with every ounce of my being what I am saying is true.

What you can expect, if you work hard on this step – and repeat it when you feel the fear starting to take grip again – is an incredible freedom of living your life without fear.

You will discover that if something does happen that would normally frighten you and send you into panic, you will instead respond calmly and effectively. You will be able to stand up, walk your truth and firmly know and believe it is all working out in perfect and divine order.

And truly it will.

This step puts you in the best possible position to create outcomes with the things in your life that the narcissist is trying to punish you with.

This step will take away his or her power to do that…

And you will experience the miraculous results – truly.

This step not only sets you up to break free from the narcissist’s actions, it also sets you up to break off the fear and pain of persecution in every area of your life.

Can you imagine how powerful that is when you achieve that?

You will FINALLY be free to be your authentic self without being paralyzed by the fear of others persecuting you.

Another Day In Paradise [S]

If I am in Paradise now; Imagine what it will be like when we are ONE!...Ish'llah

She calls out to the man on the street
"Sir, can you help me?
It's cold and I've nowhere to sleep,
Is there somewhere you can tell me?"

He walks on, doesn't look back
He pretends he can't hear her
Starts to whistle as he crosses the street
Seems embarrassed to be there

Oh think twice, it's another day for
You and me in paradise
Oh think twice, it's just another day for you,
You and me in paradise

She calls out to the man on the street
He can see she's been crying
She's got blisters on the soles of her feet
Can't walk but she's trying

Oh think twice...

Oh lord, is there nothing more anybody can do
Oh lord, there must be something you can say

You can tell from the lines on her face
You can see that she's been there
Probably been moved on from every place
'Cos she didn't fit in there

Oh think twice...

Cause for Celebration

Making Better Choices

Having a better life is a result of making better choices.

The decisions we make define one of two ways of being: Living by short-term solutions, or doing whatever work is necessary to earn a more lasting sense of fulfillment.

In the gift of free will – our ability to choose – lies both our greatest challenge and salvation.

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Honoring Everyday Life
by Madisyn Taylor



Use the good china everyday as today is all that matters.

We all know someone who keeps plastic covers on his or her couch in order to protect it. The irony is that many of these people may live their lives without ever having actually made contact with their own furniture! This is a poignant and somewhat humorous example of the human tendency to try to save things for special occasions, as if everyday life weren’t special enough to warrant the use of nice things. Many of us have had the experience of never wearing a particular piece of clothing in order to keep it nice, only to have it go out of style in the meanwhile.

It’s interesting to think of what it would mean to us if we let ourselves wear our nicest clothes and eat off the good china on a daily basis. We might be sending ourselves the message that every day we are alive is a special day and a cause for celebration, and that we are worth it. There is something uplifting about treating ourselves to the finest of what we have. It is as if we rise to the occasion when we wear our best clothes and set the table beautifully, as if for a very special guest. We are more mindful of where we place things, what we are eating, and who is with us. Using the good china, eating in the dining room, and taking the plastic off the sofa might be an invitation to be more conscious of the beauty and grace inherent in our everyday lives.

If there are things you’ve stashed away for a special occasion—a bottle of special wine, a gorgeous pair of shoes, an antique lace tablecloth—consider taking them out of their hiding places and putting them to use tonight, just because you are alive now to enjoy them, and that’s a great cause for a celebration

For more information visit dailyom.com

Loving Another

Loving Another

When I love someone or when someone loves me, we become a part of one another. To the extent to which that love carries commitment along with it, we are partners in each other's destiny. What we do affects the other, a piece of us lives in the heart and mind of that other person. What piece of me do I want to live on in the mind of another? When they turn inward to find me, who will they find? What will I have left behind me as a legacy of that relationship? I may have made mistakes or hurt someone without understanding what I was doing, but today I will be mindful; I'll keep myself honest and try not to harm. I cannot control how another person acts or feels, but I can be aware of what I put into a relationship.

I have conscious interactions.

Love is the extra effort we make in our dealings with those whom we do not like and once you understand that, you understand all. This idea that love overtakes you is nonsense. This is but a polite manifestation of sex, To love another you have to undertake some fragment of their destiny.
Quentin Crisp

Step 7: Connect to the Gift of Your Own Spiritual and Personal Empowerment

Step 7: Connect to the Gift of Your Own Spiritual and Personal Empowerment

This is a beautiful step.

It brings home a greater level of acceptance which began at Step 3.

This shift takes you from all regret and pain into the knowing that you are on a wonderful journey towards the creation of the real life you desire and deserve, and it puts you in your power and truth to embrace this heightened personal journey.

By doing so you will experience more personal energy and enthusiasm, and you will feel the desire to keep growing, and to get creative in your outer life and expand.

It is usual after this step, for doors to open and experiences in your life that you do desire to start coming toward you.

In this new empowered state I call “True Self” you leave the energy and the false and painful reality of the narcissist far, far behind.

By connecting to the gift of your own spiritual and personal development, you graduate to a much higher vibration, one where the narcissist is no longer your reality.

This means that your focus is firmly on you – you want to grow, you want to heal and you want to expand – and you are excited about this personal Journey!

This feels like quenching your thirst in a wonderful lagoon after being stranded in a barren desert for so long.

You now deeply feel that your soul is delivering you all the right messengers, all the right people, the prompts, the cues, the ‘ways’ for you to move forward into the claiming of who you really want to be – and you are open and receptive to these signals.

Life has started opening up to become a source of wonderment and day to day synchronicities which fill you with gratitude and joy.

This shift makes it very difficult for the narcissist to latch on to you, manipulate you or extract narcissistic supply from you, because after working through this step, you detatch to a level where what he or she tries to do is no longer personalised by you, and carries very little if any emotional charge.

You are simply not interested because you feel full and healthy, and your focus is on creating your own freedom, truth and progress.

Now your life can be focused on growing into the highest expressions that you can be - manifesting what you want to experience in ways that serve the collective good, living your purpose and bringing joy and peace into your life.

For those of you that have made it a focus to personally and spiritually develop, you will know how powerful this force is in your life – and how much centeredness, relief and beauty comes from it.

Twin Flame Reunion (S)

Do unto Others

Believe In Yourself

A hundred people could give you a thousand reasons why you are an amazing human being, but it could still leave you feeling very empty inside.

You have to believe in your greatness for yourself. No one else can do it for you.

If you don’t believe in your God-given brilliance, who will?

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The Golden Rule
by Madisyn Taylor



When we honor others by following the golden rule, we honor ourselves too.

All over the world, there exists a simple precept that, when followed, has the power to end conflict and banish strife. It is the Golden Rule, a key concept in many philosophies and spiritualities that admonishes us to “do unto others as we would have them do unto us.” Its meaning is clear: treat others only in ways that you would want to be treated. However, the golden rule is not always easy to follow. It can be a challenge to honor others as we wish to be honored. Yet, when we do so, we bestow a gift of loving kindness on our fellow human beings. And, in honoring others, we honor ourselves.

It is as uncomplicated a tenet as one could wish for. When we live by it, harming another person becomes nearly impossible. The Golden Rule is rooted in pure empathy and does not compel us to perform any specific act. Rather, it gently guides us to never let our actions toward others be out of harmony with our own desires. The Golden Rule asks us to be aware of the effect our words and actions may have on another person and to imagine ourselves in their place. It calls on us to ask ourselves how we would feel if what we were about to do were directed toward us. And yet this rule invites us to do more than not harm others. It suggests that we look for opportunities to behave toward others in the same ways that we would want others to act toward us. Showing compassion, being considerate of others, caring for the less fortunate, and giving generously are what can result when you follow the Golden Rule.

Adhering to the Golden Rule whenever possible can have a positive effect on the world around you because kindness begets kindness. In doing so, you generate a flow of positive energy that enfolds everyone you encounter in peace, goodwill, and harmony

For more information visit dailyom.com

From Sanford to Jerusalem: Reverse the Hatred and Heal The World

It seems you can't go anywhere these days without coming across someone's -- in many cases, very passionate -- opinion about the verdict in the George Zimmerman trial for the shooting of Trayvon Martin.

There is no question that when these types of tragic situations happen, they affect us all. They bring our own doubts and judgments to the surface. They force us to ponder our own ideals, and perhaps even to question the hatred that exists within humanity. At the same time, we may feel helpless to do anything. Or, worse, we may feel so far removed from the situation that we feel nothing at all -- no responsibility to do anything or even to care.

But as with all negativity in this world, if we can take different point of view, we will realize that there is actually a lot that we can and need to do if we want to make this world a better place to live in.

As I've mentioned before, the chaos in the world, from a spiritual perspective, boils down to one thing: our collective denial of the human dignity of our fellow man. Hatred is not innate. It grows in the dark space created by the prejudice shown by one person to another. We're actually born to learn to love. We're born to care.

You know, for many years, our family -- my husband, Rav Berg, and our four children -- lived in Israel. When we first arrived, we lived in Jerusalem. Every Saturday, we would walk through one of the Arab areas, and it wasn't long before we became friends with the people there.

Eventually, two beautiful young Muslim boys from that neighborhood "adopted" us and we "adopted" them. They lived in our home and played ball with our kids. When the Rav and I occasionally went to Tel Aviv to teach, these brothers, Yasir and Sufian Jabarin, looked after our children.

Twelve years later, we were sitting on a plane reading a magazine article about a terrorist who had blown up a bus, killing himself and 24 people. It was a horrible story and it became even more upsetting when we recognized the photo of the bomber: It was Sufian Jabarin, our young babysitter.

We were stunned. How could someone who had been so responsible and caring for our sons do something like that? How poorly had this boy been treated along the way that violence became his chosen path in life? Was it racial profiling or simply the inability of other people to accept him?

But Sufian is just one example of millions of kids currently growing up in impoverished neighborhoods around the world -- one example of kids, who, from a young age, are taught that their existence has no significance, that they don't deserve to be heard or respected or treated with human dignity.

At the Kabbalah Centre, we teach that there is a power that transcends the physical world and that this awesome power -- this spark of the Creator -- exists in each and every one of us. Therefore, it behooves us to treat those who stand before us as we ourselves would want to be treated because we are all from the same source. No matter what a person does or does not do, no matter who this person is or is not, we must grant him or her the human dignity that is his or her divine right.

This is the only way we can start to reverse the hatred and heal the world.

Let’s talk about sex again

Let’s talk about sex again

by Patty Powers

After a seasonal hiatus, Dan Griffin and I are going to host another Sex in Recovery open discussion this Sunday July 28^th at 9pm EST.

This series of talks came about because sex sets off a lot of feelings and a lot of people find it difficult to get honest about their sexual behavior because in our society sex is still a hot button topic either brazenly eroticized, politicized, or swept under the carpet. Yet for recovering addicts and alcoholics, unprocessed feelings associated with sex, sexual identity, behavior or insecurities can be the subtle trigger to set a relapse into motion.

Sex is a great escape. As an addict I am hardwired for escape from reality, from boredom, but mostly from my feelings. The idea that one day words like “healthy sexuality” would ever come out of my mouth would have sent me running. God – how boring and vanilla did these 12 step groups want me to be? How devoid of my edge or my personality would I have to become for these people to be happy? I suspected from the start that this was some sort of far-right conservative religious cult. To think I escaped all the 1970′s airport cults only to wind up here! How did this happen?

Thankfully, although prior to getting clean I did suspect 12 Step groups to be all of the above, I never had a reason to unleash this sort of tirade on anyone. The people I met when I first got clean allowed me to grow and change in my own time – to find my own path in my own life and in my own recovery. Had I felt morally judged, I don’t know if I would have stuck around.

In the area of sex probably the biggest thing that has happened to me as far as change and recovery growth goes is this: one day I was having sex and it was boring and I couldn’t flip a switch in my brain to make it exciting. But I guess this needs a little backstory. Not everyone will relate to my story but I am confident many will.

When I was seven or eight, I looked outside of myself for a signs of life that would excite me. Movies, TV, Music. I found outrageous role models in the outsider culture that was filling the big screens of the 60′s and early 70′s. It was like creating a role for myself. I began play-acting my way into my own life. Over time I became the idealized version of that child’s fantasy. I never really questioned who I was underneath it all. I was the image of a me I wanted you to see. Nowhere did this hologram become as transparent as when I walked into rehab. I had invested my whole life into an idea of myself – my life starring me. And drugs were like the glue that held it together. Getting clean terrified me. I was so confused and the noise in my head only made it worse.

Sex was a safe place. I knew where I was there and how to play in it. Clean, and sober I became the girl who liked to have fun with no grief attached. I would fuck you and make a connection to you and become friends with you and I didn’t expect anything more. The heart-store was closed. Sex didn’t make me vulnerable. In fact it was the opposite. It made me feel powerful and in control. I’d joke about the predator and the prey. I was never the prey. Afterward I might become obsessed with you if you didn’t call or weren’t available. I was hurt when you started dating someone seriously.

But you never knew. I was playing a role of a good time girl and they don’t get wounded and they don’t get lonely because they keep moving. Don’t linger in the feelings. It takes a lot of strength to play this role but I was a natural. And when it was working it was powerful and the larger than life aspect of it seductive. And there was some authenticity. There’s wildness to my spirit and a lust for life and for laughter and for adventure but this was just a new mask to hide behind. It didn’t exist for you. It existed for me. I felt terror at the thought of not performing. I wasn’t ready to unmask myself and feel everything.

For years every sexual encounter was as good as I wanted it to be. After all, I was performing for myself. You only factored in as a prop in the sexual landscape of my imagination. You were anyone I wanted you to be because I had very little interest in you once sex entered into the picture. Even if I wanted things to be different, I didn’t know what that meant. I was too lost inside the mad rush of running from myself. Sometimes I worried that this personae had worked itself into the fiber of my Being and that when it was time to strip it away that there wouldn’t be anyone left inside. Maybe I’d never been real all along.

And the years passed. And like everything else, it stopped working.

As I became more present and less fearful, I stopped leaving my body to play inside my mind. This was most apparent was during sex. If I wasn’t interested in you, if there was no connection, if there was no chemistry, I couldn’t flip the switch in my brain and make the best out of an uneventful situation. You were no longer a supporting player in the story I was writing. If I wanted more intimacy, I couldn’t pretend that sex in and of itself was going to be enough. I developed new needs, new desires and the ability to honor them.

Sometimes I miss the simplicity of checking out of reality, out of my feelings, and out of my body. Drugs and sex did such a good job of annihilating Patty at will. There are days I want to invite the old me back for a fun night but a voice in my head will list the pros and cons. As much as I might want to dress myself up in an old idea of myself to alter discomfort in my current reality, I hold off. I came into recovery wanting relief. Learning how to live with my feelings was how I learned to eradicate the fear that had kept me running from myself. Without that all-invasive fear all my masks fell away.

I don’t know why I never had the fantasy of finding someone on a white horse to save me from myself. I suspect I knew that I would be the one to do it.