Monday, 3 February 2014

Detaching with Love

Detaching with Love

It is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows. -Epictetus
Other people have their own Higher Power and it's not me
I need to detach with love from those I care about who are still mired in this disease. I will tolerate the pain of watching. When I detach with resentment, it is not detachment; it keeps me preoccupied and connected. When I amputate, it is not detachment; I develop phantom limb. I still hurt where that part of my heart used to be and am haunted by something missing. When I detach by ignoring, shunning, or running, it is simply the other side of enmeshment, and eventually I get hooked in all over again. Today I will detach with love and I will allow others the dignity of their own path. I am grateful to have found recovery. If I teach, it will be by example. When I see someone I care about locked in this disease, I want to run and help. I want to tell them what to do to get better. But time and again, this hasn't worked. In fact, it usually blows up in my face. Today my emotional sobriety allows me to have perspective and to let someone else recover at their pace, not mine. Today I can model recovery quietly and steadily.

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