Out of Mud Blooms the Lotus

“Out of Mud Blooms the Lotus” By Aine Belton

 

By Aine Belton

 

We all have our human ‘stuff’ and life its cadences. It may be challenging and painful at times – usually when there’s some kind of separation from love and truth going on.

Perhaps there’s a limiting belief or story at play, perhaps the ego has its grip (with guilt, victimhood, judgment, control, fear, etc.), perhaps you are disconnected from your true nature, or rubbing up against the ‘crud’ of your conditioning as part of an awakening process to become free of it, or your baggage surfacing before a breakthrough.

"The only thing wrong with you is ever thinking there’s anything wrong with you.”

My awakenings to love and a spiritual path came partly out of a quest fueled by pain, low self-worth, self-destructive patterns, and dysfunctional relationships.

It came from a very real need for love – the true unconditional love within – if I was going to have any kind of a happy balanced life. I wanted to be free of the shame and limiting self-beliefs that plagued me and refracted into limited realities. I wanted joy. I wanted peace. I wanted love.

I was stuck in the ‘mud’ of what I had taken on to believe about myself and the world.

I felt love deeply and profoundly at times, but so much was standing in the way of it. I realised I was also afraid of love, or in truth, the loss, abandonment, rejection, and pain I associated with it. Deep down I also didn’t feel I deserved it.

"Life is a journey of awakening and remembering the love that you are.”

Connecting to and embracing my true nature and the love of All That Is that was ever there for me changed everything, and is a continuing healing journey. We are born of love, returning to love.

On your journey through life layers and stories may heal and release, beliefs may change, truths get uncovered, skins shed, people forgiven (yourself included hopefully!), love awakened and reclaimed, etc.

I experienced a lot of phoenix-like transformations in my life – from broken to blissful, bereft to bountiful, self-loathing to self-loving. It wasn’t a single flip-switch by any means, and my life still has fluctuations, but I don’t feel the same pain, depression, worthlessness and fear I used to.

Looking back, my ‘mud’ was a spring-board to self-love and spiritual awakening, as well as a catalyst for creativity. I encountered dark nights of the soul, yet during those I re-connected to my soul. I dived into the dark. What I ultimately found was light, beauty, innocence, freedom, joy and love. I came out the other side to the truth of who I am and the love that was ever there for me.

Every butterfly has its cocoon, every dawn a preceding night.”

To clarify here…

I in no way believe nor intend to imply that you need to struggle or experience any kind of sufferance to ‘grow’. Self-acceptance and love are the best healers and transformers, certainly not hardship!

I also don’t believe everything happens for a reason or because it is ‘supposed to’. Sometimes we are caught in the tape-loops and hamster wheels of our patterns. Sometimes we make bad choices, we sabotage, we hurt ourselves or others. Nothing positive came out of drink and drug experiences for me, for example – they were always damaging physically, mentally and emotionally.

If there is ‘mud’ present in your life, become conscious and release yes, but see also if there are any gifts there.

Sometimes you get hurt because there’s an existing unhealed wound within that needs bleeding for healing. Sometimes life gives you a shake up to help you wake up. Buttons get pressed on because they’re already there to be pressed on – when you address what lies within rather than its trigger you can learn a lot about yourself and any inner dynamics that are creating, attracting or allowing less than serving outer-life experiences.

Bad things don’t happen because you deserve them. The universe holds nothing but unconditional love for you and wants the very best for you in every moment. BUT, you may carry negative beliefs about yourself, others or life, feel you don’t deserve, carry guilt or shame, be caught in detrimental patterns and stories, or what may seem like a ‘bad’ situation may bring a blessing that you discover only in hindsight – freedom, a new path/relationship/career, healing, greater self-awareness, self-love, inner strength, etc.

You don’t have to grow out of mud, but if you find yourself in mud you can still blossom into a beautiful flower.

What gifts have darker times brought you?

Perhaps they are gifts of compassion, resolve, love, patience, humility, humour, spiritual connection, personal power, forgiveness, creativity, or being a light-house for others. All can add colour and fragrance to the flower of your being.

 

Love and blessings,

Aine Belton