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“Resisting the Soul” by Nick Williams
My own journey with resistance
A wonderful extract from “Resisting the Soul” by best-selling author Nick Williams
For most of my life I was in resistance and didn’t even realise it. I thought I was being sensible, playing safe, trying to be how I thought others wanted me to be. For the first half of my life, I thought it was normal to be hard on myself, to squash most of the good ideas, to judge myself as a being a silly dreamer and so much of my energy went into trying to dull the sense of loneliness, and at times the meaninglessness, I experienced.
I felt inadequate and stayed in work I didn’t really enjoy for longer than was probably necessary. My own resistance led me to live a smaller life, to drink to excess, undermine and sabotage myself, be unkind to myself and those around me. It even led me to suicidal tendencies. I was pretty unhappy. I did know joy, happiness and love too, but nowhere near the extent I do today.
Much of my pain was I always sensed there was someone in my heart I could become, but then I dismissed this as me deluding myself in fantasy. I felt imprisoned by my own fears, thoughts and emotional patterns. But the word resistance didn’t even figure in my vocabulary. All I knew was that I was slow to do what I knew in my heart I wanted to be doing. Eventually I did find the courage to quit my corporate career and start my own business as a promoter, coach and speaker.
Even when I got deeply involved in the worlds of personal growth and human potential, part of me judged myself harshly for needing all this inspiration malarkey. I wondered why I couldn’t just be content with a material existence. I was still tempted to try to distort myself into a version of myself that I thought would be OK, loveable and acceptable.
In 2004, I was recommended to read the book, The War of Art by Steven Pressfield. As I read his book, suddenly my whole life made more sense. I had simply been in resistance and Steven had simply articulated what resistance was and how it operated in a way that I had never fully understood until then. I wasn’t mad, I was in resistance, and now I knew it. I was liberated to begin to understand that I was conspiring against my best self and the level of my resistance was in direct proportion to the passion I had, and the ultimate success I could create.
And now I have become more of that person I sensed in my heart I could become. I realise I have a self to become, a calling to enact and projects to bring into existence. I can’t be anyone I want, I need to keep listening to my soul and bring the essence of me into greater existence. It’s been a baby step by baby step process of facing fear after doubt after uncertainty. But I have consciously chosen it and it has initiated an ongoing journey of transformation. I know it is possible to get beyond resistance and give birth to your greatest self. And it’s daily work.
So do I still experience resistance? Yes, I do. But I joke and say, “Now I resist with awareness!” I know what I am doing, and I still do it, but I don’t do it for so long. There is always a stronger part of me now that wants to push through it. And sometimes resistance comes in a new form that I don’t quite recognise and get a handle on immediately. I know I will experience resistance for the rest of my life, that it is a daily battle. But I also now know I can beat it, and bring forth new life, ideas and projects through me into the world. That excites me.
And what is my one piece of advice to you that’s worked for me? Listen to my heart and then show up, and show up before you feel ready. Excessive preparation is just another form of resistance.
Why I am so passionate about overcoming resistance and freeing our unlived potential…
I believe that within each of us two lives exist. The life we live, and the life of potential, the unlived life within us. What stands between the two is resistance. I would go as far as to say that resistance is the most toxic force on the planet and stops us being who we are and were born to be. Each of us has a brilliance, access to a God given genius, and resistance’s declared goal is to stop you shining your own particular and unique light. As powerful as your own call to evolve and self-realise is, the forces of resistance are arrayed against you.
I have come to truly believe that unfulfilled potential is one of the greatest problems on the planet. If all the love, talent, gifts and abilities, that currently lie dormant within the billions of human beings on the planet, were unleashed, the world would be transformed. All these gifts and talents already exist in potential and whilst problems with the economy, education and inequality play a part in squashing our potential, the greatest obstacle of all, is our resistance. And the saddest part of it is, that most people don’t understand their resistance. They may simply believe there is nothing more within them, or they know there is more within them, but are at a loss to know what stops them letting it out.
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