The Direction of Joy, Peace & Love

29^th June 2012 – Jake – Love - a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker.

Last night was a totally different experience for me.  Whilst the Force was strong, I couldn’t feel the normal dynamic.  I will have to choose my words carefully but it felt like a bit of a “struggle”.

One reason was although Neytiri appeared at peace she had some deep anxiety. Neytiri told me her greatest fear was that she would not want to go back from here; the “Dream” would become reality. I told her I could handle that fear. 

I told her I did not have any fears, per se but kept playing different scenarios in my head about the final outcome of what would happen after the 2 weeks.  The hardest bit I struggle with is our love is unconditional, perfect but our whole relationship is conditional. I cannot reconcile the 2.

So the scenario running through my head is from the “Dream” becoming reality, i.e. an unconditional relationship (100%) or to the other extreme where there is no relationship at all (0%).  It is black or white or is there some grey in it.  And if so how will we handle it.  It is so, so hard at present.

I know it is my codependent traits and egoic mind at play and I am learning to be the witness to my thoughts.  It is becoming easier and with the ease comes peace.

I told her the best way to tackle hre fears is to be present, one day at a time.  Spend time in nature every day, even if it is only for 1 minute.

If she could go back in time to 24^th August 2010; what would she change, if anything.

The whole experience, including her coming to visit, is divine.  Whatever God’s Will is for her; for me and for us will manifest in this 2 week period.  It is our window, when we will have direct access to the Light and we have to seize the moment with both hands.

Thereafter, what will be, will be.  And this is the sense of peace that came over me as I pondered the various outcomes in my egoic mind over the last few days.

I truly hope is my Step 11 prayers, her Step 11 prayers and our Step 11 prayer are all in sync and answered…Ish’llah.

I have said this a hundred times “LET GO & LET GOD!”  It is as simple and as difficult as this.

An oracle?


Leaving a Relationship
by Madisyn Taylor



Leaving a long-term relationship is hard but a necessary step to receiving what you want in your life.

One of the hardest decisions we ever make in life is leaving a long-term relationship that just isn’t working. When attempts at repairing and working out issues aren’t working, it may be time to examine moving on. We are emotional creatures, and when our heartstrings are tied to those of another, separating from that person can feel like an act of courage. It is not something most of us will take lightly, and many of us will struggle with our desire to stay in a relationship that is unfulfilling simply in order to avoid that pain. We may question whether the happiness we seek even exists, and we may wonder if we might be wiser to simply settle where we are, making the best of what we have.

On the one hand, we almost relish the idea that true happiness is not out there so that we can avoid the pain of change. On the other hand, we feel within ourselves a yearning to fulfill our desire for relationships that are vital and healing. Ultimately, most of us will follow this call, because deep within ourselves we know that we deserve to be happy. We all deserve to be happy, no matter where we find ourselves in this moment, and we are all justified in moving, like plants toward the light, in the direction that leads to our greatest fulfillment. First, though, we may need to summon the courage to move on from the relationship that appears to be holding us back.

Taking the first steps will be hard, but the happiness we find when we have freed ourselves from a situation that is draining our energy will outshine any hardship we undergo to get there. Keeping our eyes trained on the horizon, we begin the work of disentangling ourselves from the relationship that no longer fits. Every step brings us closer to a relationship that will work, and the freedom we need to find the happiness we deserve.

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