Enough is enough!

“10 things to say “Enough” to!”
By Aine Belton

What can you say “Enough” to today?

Ever had that thought about something in your life? Something you’ve continued with or put up with that isn’t serving you (in yourself, another, or life in general)?

Now, of course, there’s the why – to take responsibility and address what may be beneath that –limiting beliefs, a lack of self-worth, old wounds, negative stories, repressed emotions, etc.

You can also consciously choose to stop engaging in whatever it is. When you do you create the space to let go. You pause to breathe, reflect, heal, renew, find new perspectives, and make a gear change for the new.

Everything you let go of creates a vacuum for something new to fill it and for more love and light to enter your life. That letting go may have stages – you may go deeper into the dark before re-entering the light, such as with processing layers of feelings, for example.

There could also be hidden agendas about keeping certain patterns or problems running in your life. Problems can be manifestations of inner resistance, they can be used as distractions, to cover over hidden pain, they may be numbing you from something else you don’t want to look at or feel, or be cathartic releases of inner repressed emotions, or reflections and projections of those, etc.

I say the above just to help with taking responsibility for whatever’s going on, knowing that there’s always some reason, whether you know that reason or not. It may also be happening because of a blessing in disguise you’ve yet to identify!

You don’t have to know why you have something going on in your life to be able to change it, let go, heal, and make another choice.

Either way, first love and accept yourself as exactly who and where you are right now, as that’s the biggest key to any kind of change in your life!

10 things to say ENOUGH to!

1) Struggle.

Where are you struggling? Struggle never works. When you’re in struggle any steps you take tend to be dinky ones. It’s kind of like walking through glue. Struggle isn’t a true pathway to success. For starters, the energy and states you’re in when you’re struggling are far from conducive to attracting success. If you’re struggling, stop. Consciously let go of struggle. Look instead to how you can nourish and elevate yourself and move into a different state of being. Look to you can allow in more love, joy, peace and ease. Look at who may be able to help or support you, even if that be emotionally.

Love and receiving are big antidotes to struggle. Some of the biggest changes happen sometimes not even with trying, but through allowing and surrendering… to love, grace, flow, and receiving.

2) Pushing or going against the grain

Now, I’m not saying a bit of push is wrong, here’s what I mean… Is there an area of your life where it feels like you’re going against the flow, knocking on doors that aren’t opening or swimming up-stream – in relationships, life, career, wherever? Dedication and persistence can be wonderful things – so many beautiful and genius dreams, inventions and works of art wouldn’t have made it into the world without those. I’m not saying to give up on a dream or something that makes your heart sing just because there’s a lack of flow. Perhaps you need to get your beliefs more aligned, or there’s a timing issue, etc.

That said, there are things that may not be happening because they’re not in your highest interest to happen. You have to discern the difference for yourself, and be mindful and open about that. If you keep getting a closed door, an off vibe, a cold shoulder, and things just aren’t flourishing in a particular direction, stop pushing.

Going against the grain rarely works. Letting go can be way more effective. When you let go and trust, rather than try and control, if something’s in your highest it will begin to flow and attracted into your life (if you align your energy to that outcome – with positive beliefs, thoughts, feelings, etc.) Sometimes rejection can be the universe helping you with re-direction, or a form protection, to safe-guard what may be dead-end streets or un-serving pathways. Keep walking through green lights and follow your heart, and get a sense of what to move towards or away from when navigating the highest flow of your life.

3) Sacrifice. 

Are you putting yourself second, or last even, in any area of your life? Are you bending over backwards for others without taking care of yourself? Are you disconnected from your own worth and value or caught in people-pleasing patterns, or co-dependent care-taking or rescuer roles? The thing is with sacrifice, it ends up leading to resentment – you end up resenting the people you sacrifice yourself for, whether you’re consciously aware of that or not (it’ll be simmering under the surface any way).

Sacrifice can be a role you take on to try and prove your worth in a certain area. It can compensate for or hide hidden feelings of guilt or worthlessness within. Or your sacrifice could be mirroring roles you witnessed in your own family. Perhaps you believe sacrifice is noble as that what you were taught, overtly or covertly. You don’t need to sacrifice yourself. One of the best gifts you can give the world is the gift of your happiness and self-love, and from that position you are far more able and likely to help others. Instead of sacrificing yourself, own your worth, and let go of martyrhood so you can more authentic give when and where appropriate, and allow yourself to receive too!

4) Running from/avoiding feelings or problems. 

Don’t run from your problems: stand and wipe the mirror instead. Face your fears. Now, I’m not saying to stay in a situation if it feels inappropriate, or tolerating or putting up with something that doesn’t feel right. Walk away from anything you want to, but face whatever it is first, even just to reflect on why it has shown up and take responsibility that. You may have no idea why a problem is in your life, you may feel icky about the situation, perhaps you’ve gone into victim, judgment, shame or blame.

Don’t judge yourself. Just be present to your feelings, allow them to move through you, and know reality can change in an instant. Make a new choice, write a new story, give thanks for all that you love in your life, and say goodbye to what you don’t. Of course, not all things are appropriate to just say goodbye to – you may need to solve, transform, re-birth, etc.

Have the courage to walk through the fire and face what needs facing, knowing that you are never dealt a problem that you can’t move through and beyond – or as said, walk away from if that feels appropriate. You are infinitely bigger than any problem you could face. Further more, every problem hides a gift, whether you’re away of that at the time or not. See if you can find out what gift your problem secretly holds. Perhaps the gift is one of greater strength, more compassion, forgiveness, hope, an inner healing or shift in beliefs, etc. 

5) Guilt.  

Guilt is a form of self-punishment. When you feel guilty you are stuck in a self-defeating swamp. Your energy will more likely repel rather than attract positive situations. Guilt invites punishment and victim scenarios, for if you do not punish yourself for the guilt you feel, consciously or otherwise, you may attract that punishment that you subconsciously feel in another form by way of people and circumstances you attract.

Guilt has no redeeming features. When you feel guilty you do not serve the one you feel guilty towards, or yourself, in any way. It is certainly not noble, though many believe that it is. Guilt can also be arrogant, making everything about you and the impact you have, very often as an extension of feeling overly responsible for others. It keeps you stuck in the past and held back from correcting the ‘mistake’ and moving on. Instead of feeling guilty, acknowledge, forgive yourself, embrace any learnings, and step into the new – wiser, more loving and responsible than before.

We all make mistakes. It’s part of being human. Guilt is an ego trap that leads to self-punishment and keeps you from loving yourself, which also diminishes your ability to love others. Make a choice not to feel guilty. Give yourself permission to stop it. You can care, love, be responsible and act from your conscience without guilt, in fact, more so without it. 

6) Procrastination. 

Got your head in Facebook for hours when you know there’s something else your focus would be more productive or honouring of your time? Find yourself distracted by inane things, or feel you just can’t get moving on something or keep putting something off or stalling. There will be something underneath that procrastination –it could be fear, resistance, or self-punishment even. Either way, forgive yourself for procrastinating, value yourself and your time more, and say “Enough”.

7) Seeking outside validation. 

A huge human trap most experience on a regular basis. Society is based on encouraging us to seek that outside validation, to compare, compete, to be approved of and accepted by ‘others’. Of course, self-esteem comes from within. No amount of validation or approval ‘out there‘ will ever give it to you. You can though! Fill yourself up from the inside out. Give yourself what you desire from others.

8) Comparing or competing. 

The ego compares and competes. Competition doesn’t work. It  stems from a scarcity paradigm rather than an abundance win-win one. With comparing and competing there will be temporary ego highs and lows of feeling ‘better than’ or ‘less than’ – the two sides of the ego coin.

9) Self-pity. 

You may want to lick wounds with pity but it just keeps you in the space of victimhood and does nothing to empower and transform you or your situation. Responsibility, on the other hand, brings freedom and change. Be compassionate and understanding with yourself as you take responsibility for your reality. You may not understand why something ‘bad’ has happened, but you can forgive yourself for allowing it, let it go, and make a new choice. Feel your pain, feel your feelings, but don’t get caught in a quagmire of pity that could drag you back down or keep you on the hamster wheel loop of the very situation you’re wanting to be free of.   

10)  Needing to know everything. 

Ever drive yourself crazy wanting to know everything – what others are thinking, why things are happening, what the ‘best’ choice is, what’s coming next… Now, I’m a massively curious type and I love asking why, I love digging and delving and discovering secrets and meaning, and seeking wisdom and truth can be healing and transformational. BUT, you can get stuck in over-analyzing, stuck in your head, and miss out on the flow, magic and mystery of life. If wondering why isn’t serving you or is taking up too much of your head-space and valuable time, drop it. You don’t always need to know why, sometimes it serves you best not to! Whys often reveal themselves at a time that you’re ready to digest and more better understand them.