December 31: Practice Detachment
‘My husband is using cocaine,” a woman said. “He won’t listen to me when I tell him to stop. So, how about this?
I’ll pop the movie Blow, about cocaine abuse, into the VCR and just keep playing it over and over until he gets the message.”
“How about this,” I said. “You go to an Al-Anon meeting and get some help for yourself.”
The first time we’re exposed to the value of detaching, it can seem so
improbable and unlikely. After a while, we begin to see how well
detaching works. When we let go of what we cannot change, the other
person begins to experience his or her own consequences. The other
person may or may not do what we want them to do, but because we’ve been
restored to sanity; a clear path opens for us. The things we do
actually begin to help.
The first time we practice detachment is the hardest. Later, it becomes easier.
Challenge: No matter how long we
have practiced the value of detachment, recognizing when we need to do
it can still be the hardest part.
December 30: Taking care of Yourself
Anger, fear,
sadness, betrayal a lot of emotions can run through us when we stop
trying to change the other person and start focusing on taking care of
ourselves. The good news is that we’re finally feeling our own feelings
instead of trying to figure out what the other person feels.
Maybe all those feelings we’ve been
avoiding aren’t the opposite of love. Those feelings could be an
important step on the path to love.
Inventory Focus: Is there a relationship in your
life right now that is bugging you? Are you willing to explore
detachment as a means to improving the relationship and regaining your
peace?
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