January 2: Crazy People Can Make You Crazy
“He’s making me crazy I don’t understand. Why would someone say they were going to do one thing, then do something so different from what they say? He looks so good and talks so good. His promises sound so, so real, but then everything falls apart. I end up doing all this work, and he just disappears. I get so dang angry. Then about the time I’m ready to blow a gasket, he calls, charms my socks off, and the whole cycle starts over again. I walk away, scratching my head and wondering, ‘What’s wrong with me? Did I just imagine this whole thing? Did I overreact?’ I don’t get it. I don’t understand,”
Maybe it’s time for an Al-Anon meeting.
“And when we’re talking on the phone, I feel like I’m the only one for him. But then when I see him, I know he’s lying to me. I know he’s seeing someone else and standing there looking me right in the eyes and lying about it. When I ask him, he says, ‘Your insecurity is enchanting, and you’re usually such a together person.’ I don’t understand why I feel so insane.”
Maybe it s time for an Al-Anon meeting.
“And then I catch him straight-out lying to me, and I blow up. I just can’t stand that lying stuff especially when
I knew all the time he was lying to me and he denied it. I put up with it and put up with it and then finally I can’t take it anymore. By the time I blow up, he’s standing there looking calm and serene and I’m acting like an insane person.”
Crazy people make us feel crazy. It’s not you. It’s him. How about that meeting?
“And then he calls a few days later, and he says how sorry he is and I can tell he’s sorry Before I know it, I’ve forgotten about everything that happened, and it starts all over again. I keep wondering whether I’m being used, and then I look at him and I just feel so guilty for everything I’m feeling and thinking. Oh yeah. That Al-Anon meeting.”
Step One: Powerless over people, places, and things. My life has become unmanageable. Take a deep breath. Say it again. Then say it one more time. Crazy people make us feel crazy It will happen every time.
Value: Detach in love. Disentangle. Un-embroil yourself from other people’s insanity so you can be restored to sanity. It’s a value many of us learned the hard way.
January 1: Other People’s Drama
Other people’s dramas are so seductive. The more we love someone, the easier it is to become embroiled. You may think, “I can’t let go.” Yes, you can. If you can’t detach in love, just detach. Let love come later.
Application: Whenever we can ‘t stop talking or thinking about someone else, it’s time to detach. If we feel like someone else is making us crazy and we can figure out how to help them, it’s time to help ourselves.
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