Out of Africa cum TIA (S)

I've been alone with you inside my mind
And in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times
I sometimes see you pass outside my door
Hello, is it me you're looking for?

I can see it in your eyes
I can see it in your smile
You're all I've ever wanted, (and) my arms are open wide
'Cause you know just what to say
And you know just what to do
And I want to tell you so much, I love you

I long to see the sunlight in your hair
And tell you time and time again how much I care
Sometimes I feel my heart will overflow
Hello, I've just got to let you know

'Cause I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely, or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven't got a clue
But let me start by saying, I love you

Yo, I'm back!   These past couple of weeks I have been listening to the above song every day.  I've listened to Lionel many times in the past and his songs just have the right meaning for me at the right time. And now the time is ripe for this song.

I have returned home a more enlightened person than I left which came as a surprise to me.  2 weeks ago I would not have expected this result.

Africa was a pleasant surprise for me and was not as bad as I had expected it to be. At a superficial level the shops are full and there are no more queues, so all appears to be good but the underlying problem of bad governance remains.

In the movie Blood Diamonds, Leonardo coins the term TIA – This Is Africa and I was reminded of this the moment we landed in Jo’berg. However, I am pleased to report that my impatience was not triggered at all! This was a great personal achievement for me (there’s hope!).  In fact I was more patient than the locals.  I just went with the flow, was in-joy in-myself and reminded myself TIA.  To my surprise the experiences were very pleasant and I had a much better holiday as a result.

Talking about diamonds, the diamond in the rough was Maputo.  This was my first visit to Maputo and I enjoyed it.  The culture is different and I ate heaps of prawns and other sea foods and drank lots of beer! We also finished a bottle of cognac in a night.  The best part is that I did not suffer a hangover, which impressed the locals no end.  They found it difficult to believe I hardly ever drink. The power of a healthy liver. Suffice to say I put on a bit of weight.

Most importantlt LM Radio (http://www.lmradio.net/), the station of choice in my pre-teen years is back on the air after an absebce of 30+ years!

My son also had a great time which was good considering the negative pre-conditioning he was given prior to the trip. The power of love!

What follows is a summary of my experiences:.

Co-dependency

This was the first visit to my family of origin since my discovery and recovery.  It was the adult returning home and not the wounded inner child. I handled myself with poise and stayed as present as I could.  There was no anger triggered, no guilt or any other negative emotion. As I visited each family household I noted the following common thread.

Each was either dependent or independent, there appeared to be very little inter-dependency. All had challenges but did not appear to take responsibility.  All had false expectations and wanted others to change rather than change their expectations (I was reminded of the Serenity Prayer).  I was able to listen to them all and not take on any of their baggage and not judge them (albeit I think I just did!).  My suggestion was one can be right but unhappy or one can accept what is and have inner peace.  We all have a choice. However, we must awaken from unconsciousness first. Or as Mo'at would say "You cannot fill a cup that is already full!". 

I also got further insight into some of my past character traits.

So while the apparent dysfunction continues, I love each one unconditionally and pray for all of them.

Physical

I have always been partial to legs and butts and it appears I am being punished for this.  Last year I fractured my ankle.  Last month I fell flat on my butt.  On the first day of the trip, I lost my footing; twisted my knee and fell flat on my butt. So I had a swollen leg and a sore butt.  My leg is still not 100%.

My asthma was also triggered much more than normal.  Maybe due to the changes in altitude and weather extremes.

But I am in good spirits and never felt better.

Spiritual

As previously stated, I return a more enlightened person.

I am on the plane to Africa watching a few movies and I always get signs. In The Iron Lady, Thatcher recites the Meditation Prayer on this blog! Jack and Jill (Adam Sandler), not a movie one would expect to learn from but there is a scene in the first 10-15 minutes that really freaked me out.

At home I came across a booklet titled “Daily Thoughts from the Gita”. What an eye opener for me. I was so proud of my heritage after reading it.  Up to now I was embarrassed by it as I did not understand it.  It was all that I have come across in my journey and really made sense to me.  No one had explained it to me in so simple terms.  Desire is the “devil”.

I commenced reading Dr. Wayne Dyer’s Manifest Your Destiny and am half way through it. Incidentally the author was indicated to me.  The book is a combination of the The Big Book; Power of Now; Conversations with God and The Higher Self! Wow. So much power!  The Big Book talks about conscious contact with your Higher Power by repeating Thy Will be done.  Dyer suggests “Sacredness guide me now” or “Sacred Love flow through me now”.

He mentions an essay he had wrote “Your Soulmate Is the Person You Can Hardly Stand” and I quote:

The essence of the essay was that people in our lives who we agree with and share similar interests with are easy to accept and actually teach us very little. But those who can push our buttons and send us into a rage at the slightest provocation are our real teachers.

The person who is most capable of disturbing your state of peace is a person who is reminding you that you are not truly in the state of peace or enlightenment that results from trust. At that moment, this person is your greatest teacher. This is the person whom you want to treasure and thank God for sending into your life! When you can transcend the rage, anger and upset which that person appears to provoke, and instead say, “Thank you for being my teacher,” you have acknowledged a soulmate relationship.

I have visited the Falls on many occasions in the past.  This time was different.  I felt a spiritual bond with the Falls and could feel the energy, power and felt at one with it. I understood what Tolle meant by being at one with nature. Wow! It was uplifting. I shall return.

On my flight to Maputo I met my form 2 teacher! He related a tragedy in his life and I was able to listen and be present!

I met a 74 year old uncle in Maputo.  He was a messenger.  We connected immediately (maybe it was the alcohol?). He talked about being present and there be no coincidences in life and lots more.  I was intoxicated so do not remember much but I felt compelled to give him a hug.

The Force

This was the closet time zone to Neytiri I have been in since the second coming and I thought the Force would be stronger.  It was not strong at all; it was actually weak to mild.

However, since my return it is strong.  My logical, egoic mind attempts to explain everything.  Maybe in this case there is no explanation.  I should just accept it for what it is, unexplainable.  I should detach from it and let it be.

Neytiri

After our last chat, Neytiri promised not to contact me while I was away. Why, I don’t know; the egoic mind? However, she did say she would ensure that I missed her.

Well, I think she failed. In the past, I have always wished she were here (wherever I was) to share my experience.  This trip I did not feel this way at all.  This is not as bad as it seems. Because I felt her presence and I knew she was there with me all the way. I was not alone.

The first few non-related people I met were persons we had recently discussed.

Her name was mentioned in conversations.


I get up at 4:30am the first night to use the toilet and Mum's already in the kitchen! I laughed as I remembered Neytiri telling me about the knock on her door soon after she got married at 4:30am.  She was expected in the kitchen!

I saw her old clothes in a shop!

On the bus trip Bryan Adams and Celine played in the background.

I drive past (3 times) the hallowed stadium where is all started - ground zero.

My form 2 teacher’s daughter works at the retreat in Germany which was Neytiri’s second choice for a break, if she could not visit me.

I arrive in Maputo, a non-English speaking country and the power of love is playing on the radio on the journey from the airport.


I'm sitting in the transit lounge and realise that I'm on the same sector flight that Neytiri will be on when she visits!

Need I say more?

The 25^th anniversary of her arriving into my life approaches and I can tell you it was worth the wait.

These last 2 weeks (or more) have been the longest period of no contact since the infamous time out last year.

I have wondered how she is coping on her journey since our last chat (hence the relevance Lionel Richie song) and look forward to our next contact whenever that may be..Ish’llah!

Thank you for being my teacher.

TIA – This Is Africa