Taking Out the Garbage in Our Life

There is a kabbalist named the Ben Ish Chai who said that our purpose is not only to correct our negativity, but also to check our positive attributes and make sure we are using them for the common good.   Let’s say, for example, that someone is a good salesperson; he’s good at making a profit for himself. The point for him would be perhaps to find a way to use his selling skills to explain a concept that can help others.  Each and every one of us has specific strengths and talents.  The question is: What are we doing with them?

This week’s Bible portion is called Acharei Mot, which in English means “after death.”  Quite fittingly, therefore, the energy this week is ripe for us to question and reorganize our priorities: To go beyond our values of today and to see what we would do if suddenly we were put in a position where we have only six weeks, one month, or even just 24 hours to live. What would we do with our time? Would we continue to be as involved in the nonsense of our lives? Would we be able to sit in a place where we are surrounded every day by people we don’t believe in? We have the power to keep the friends that are real or pick up the phone and remember to say to our true friends, “You know, you’ve always been there for me. Thank you.”

Acharei Mot brings us to the realization that can shift our priorities. Oftentimes we say, “There is always tomorrow.” But is there? We can choose the way we interact with things that are important. We can stop wasting time and get rid of the garbage in our life.

Because you know what?  We are at a place where we all will be brought to a higher consciousness in one of two ways.  The first is by our own action: By proactively looking through the schmutz in our life and trying to find a way to change it. The other way is by inaction, in which case we will have no choice but to react to the pain and chaos that comes at us.  

At the point of “acharei mot,” the point of “after dying,” however, there is no such thing as passivity. There is a cosmic link that is forcing us as individuals to change and rearrange ourselves. The rug is being pulled out from beneath us and swept clean.  If we don’t get rid of our garbage proactively this year, the universe will do it for us.

It’s one way or the other.

OM Meditation - 12 Ways of Realising GOD!

OM Meditation

12 Ways of Realising GOD!

1.            LONGING – have the same LONGING and thirst for union with GOD as one who has been lying for days in the sun of the hot Sahara experiences the LONGING for water; then you will realise GOD!

2.            PEACE OF MIND – if you have the PEACE of a frozen lake; then you too will realise GOD!

3.            HUMILITY – have the HUMILITY of the earth which can be moulded into any shape; then you will know GOD!

4.            DESPERATION – If you experience the DESPERATION that causes a man to commit suicide and you feel you cannot live without seeing GOD; then you will see GOD!

5.            FAITH – Have the complete FAITH that allows one to believe it was night even though it was day because his master said so; then you will see GOD!

6.       FIDELITY – Have the FIDELITY that the breath has in giving you company even without your constantly feeling it ‘til the end of your life; that both in happiness and in suffering gives you company and never turns against you; then you will know GOD!

7.         CONTROL THROUGH LOVE – When your LOVE for GOD drives away your lust for the things of the senses; then you will realise GOD!

8.            SELFLESS SERVICE – Have the quality of SELFLESS SERVICE unaffected by results, similar to that of the sun which serves the world by shining on all of creation, on the grass and the field, on the birds in the air, on the beasts in the forest, on all mankind with its sinners and its saints, its rich and its poor, unconscious of their attitude towards it; then you will win GOD!

9.            RENUNCIATION – If you RENOUNCE for GOD everything physical, mental and spiritual; then you will have GOD!

10.        OBEDIENCE – If your OBEDIENCE is as spontaneous, complete and natural as the light is to the eye, or the smell is to the nose, then you come to GOD!

11.         SURRENDER – if your surrenderance to me is as wholehearted as that of one who is suffering from insomnia SURRENDERS to sudden sleep without fear of being lost, then you have GOD!

12.         LOVE – if you have that LOVE for me which St Francis had for Jesus; then not only will you realise GOD but you will please GOD!

AAAH Meditation

AAAH Meditation

Morning Affirmations

<·         I know in each moment I am FREE to decide.

<·      No matter how much I protest, I am totally RESPONSIBLE for everything that happens to me in my life.

<·        My past is nothing more than the trail I have left behind. What drives my life today is the energy I generate in each of my PRESENT moments.

<·     I rid myself of my doubts by remembering that there is a valid REASON for everything that happens.

<·       I realise that I am always free to LET GO and observe my life.

<·      The more I listen the more profound the SILENCE becomes.

<·        I know that my HIGHER SELF is always ready to lift me up beyond the world I experience with my senses.

<·      I know that I can connect my mind with the DIVINE MIND and guarantee myself PEACE in any moment.

<·       I know I am strengthened as I seek to make TRUTH my personal reality.

<·        I know that the very essence of my BEING and the way of transforming my life is LOVE.

<·       My JUDGEMENTS prevent me from seeing the good that lies beyond appearances.

<·        I know that I am already WHOLE and I need not chase after anything in order to be complete.

<·        I am aware that I do not need to dominate anyone in order to be SPIRITUALLY AWAKE.

<·         I will work this day at my PUREST INTENTIONS for the HIGHEST GOOD of all.

<·         I will radiate my scared self outward for the COLLECTIVE GOOD of all.

<·         AAAH is the scared sound of CREATION and MANIFESTATION.

No Going Back

28^th April 2012 – Jake – I never knew you until I did. And when I finally did, you were like someone I’ve known for a very long time. I then remembered, you are the one my heart has been talking about.

If I count how many times you’ve crossed my mind in my entire life, I’d be lying if I say it was too many. Cause you only crossed my mind once. Why? Cause you never left it! 

Wednesday night I did not sleep well.  I have since discovered, when I have a restless night it means I am getting cleansed of some negativity, a blockage is getting cleared and my Higher Power is communicating with me.  I get clarity.

I realised the last comment we made during our chat on Tuesday triggered the restless night and I “was told” that I needed to share the details of my discovery and recovery process and the exact nature of the changes that occurred on that faithful night of 19^th July 2011.

I had not told Neytiri the details and I think this was a test to see if I still carried any shame around my past.  Whenever I am with Neytiri I feel intense love, joy and peace so had nothing to fear and was able to relate the details to her.

I heard Tolle say that spiritual relations are pure and totally present because there is no past.  Whatever needs to be said, is said in the moment so no “psychological time” is created. I believe our relationship is now evolving to this level.  So now whenever I ask her what’s she thinking about she just says it and vice versa.

In the past, Neytiri struggled to express her true feelings, as they created conflict.  Also, as co-dependent we tend to deny and/or supress our feelings. She has since come to the miraculous realisation that she has a right to her feelings! You go girl!  This is a sign that the feelings are pure.  When the feelings are pure there is nothing to fear.  But she also fears that the dream will become reality. Again is the feeling is pure there is nothing to fear. Have faith and be grateful.

So now she is freer with her feelings, albeit not totally open yet. However, progress it is and she said she cannot explain the feelings nor the intensity thereof that she has for me, for us. I can relate to this because these are the same feelings I was having back in August 2011. Also since my return from Africa, there has been an uptick in the Force.

The Prophecy- As this connection develops over time, you experience a love so deep, strong and complex, that you begin to doubt that you have ever truly loved anyone prior.

She says she still has a long way to go. I told her not to focus on how far she may have to go but rather how far she has already come.

I was also reminded I need to surrender in relation to Mo’at.  Just accept her as she is.  Neytiri needs to do the same with her daughter.  However the ego and/or the pain body are so strong and need to protect their survival.  We have to be ever vigilant not to slip.  Baby steps will get us there.

The pain body cannot function in the present and the light.  Consciousness will neutralise it!

Neytiri blamed her daughter for her trigger. I am reminded of a morning affirmation : No matter how much we may protest, we are responsible for what happens in our life!

The analogy that came to me was, someone running a red light and crashing into me.  It is easy to blame the other party.  But think about it this way: A green light does not mean go; it means proceed with caution! Rather than blame the other party, take responsibility and admit I was not present.  Whenever I am present there is no problem because I would have avoided  the crash.  I take personal responsibility for all the red light runners in my life. TOUCH; PAUSE; ENGAGE! Be present!

Wayne Dyer suggests we choose one day of the week, to start with, where we practice unconditional, perfect love towards all, including whilst sleeping for 24 hours. I suggested to Neytiri we do this starting Monday(?).  

There's no going back now!

Every Step Is Forward

There are times when we feel that we are spinning our wheels in the mud in terms of our spiritual progress. This can be especially true following a period of major growth in which we feel as if we’ve gained a lot of ground. In fact, this is the way growth goes—periods of intense forward movement give way to periods of what seems like stagnation. In those moments when we feel discouraged, it’s helpful to remember that we don’t ever really go backward. It may be that we are at a standstill because there is a new obstacle in our paths, or a new layer to get through, but the hard work we have done cannot be undone.

Every step on the path is meaningful, and even one that seems to take us backward is a forward step in the sense that it is what we must do to move to the next level. In addition, an intense growth spurt requires that we rest for a time in order to fully integrate the new energies that have been liberated by our hard work. When we feel we are not making progress, we can encourage ourselves to take a moment to rest. We can meditate more, feed ourselves well, and get extra sleep. Before we know it, we will be spurred on to work toward the next level of our development, and this rest will make sense then as something we needed in order to continue.

Once the sun rises, it doesn’t go backward but instead follows its path in one direction. It may appear to stand still for a moment in time, or to move more slowly at some point or another, but really it is steadily moving forward on its path. We are the same way, and once we have moved through something we can never really go back. We may be resting or revisiting issues that seem old, and it’s natural to feel stuck, but in truth we are always taking the next important step forward on our path.

For more information visit dailyom.com

SATURDAY, MARCH 24 COMPLETE YOUR TASKS • Remember the past to avoid repeating mistakes • Before acting – ask for the Light to guide you • Decrease ego by remembering we are just a channel for Light • Empathize with others • Avoid conflict It's time to break the "me, me, me" syndrome
	Meditate on the letters.As I look into my soul, I can feel the sore places where I have been wounded by my ego: worry over what people think about me, needing to be right, angry when things don't go my way. As I let it go and reach for Light on a higher plane, those places in my soul open up. I am free, my ego diminishes and I concentrate on what is really important: love.

The Gift of Emotions

One mistake many people make when they first hear about the Law of Attraction (i.e. that their thoughts and feelings create their reality), is to start judging, repressing, or denying negative feelings out of a fear of the negative consequences they may attract.

‘Bad’ feelings are not wrong per se. Furthermore, what we resist persists. Pretending you don’t have feelings or numbing them out doesn’t make them go away.

Negative emotions can be helpful guides to what’s going on inside – the limiting thoughts, beliefs and stories that may not be serving you and standing in the way of the dreams you wish to manifest.

Painful or uncomfortable feelings can illuminate un-serving thoughts and attitudes, unhealed aspects within, and hidden agendas.

Many termed ‘negative’ emotions can also serve a positive function. Grieving, for example, is a natural process that may involve the experience of pain yet ultimately lead to healing. Fear’s function is to signal when to protect yourself from potential harm. Even anger if acknowledged and expressed cleanly can at times be productive – a catalyst for change, awareness of what you don’t want, or assertion of respect, for example.

Feelings are a natural part of the human experience. It is when feelings are repressed that they become problematic, toxic, and leak into your world affecting your reality in not so pleasant ways. They may come out ‘sideways’ as projection, passive-aggression, or sabotage, for example.

This is why honoring, accepting and letting your emotions be felt is important, and part of developing an intimate loving relationship with yourself. By this I don’t mean wallowing in them inappropriately, however, as I will explain (i.e. nip that self-pity in the bud!).

Emotions are supposed to MOVE (e-motion). When they are controlled, stifled and stuffed down, they can putrefy or stagnate, and like layers of dense energy can block light and the higher frequency energies of your true nature – the bright positive feelings of your essential self – the love, happiness and joy that you ARE!

Repressed emotions inhibit vitality, authenticity, spontaneity and flow. They can lead to depression, addictions, mental and emotional imbalance and ill health. When you accept and honour your feelings, rather than fear, judge, or deny them, they can more naturally be expressed, released and move through you.

What you accept, you more easily let go of and release.

“Acceptance heals hurt. It heals the resistance that causes or exacerbates the pain. When you accept, it allows you to move forward in the flow, because what you accept, you naturally let go of.” ~ Chuck Spezzano

Let your emotions breathe, whether that be to laugh, or be to grieve.”

With traumatic painful life experiences, there may at times be a level of safety in repressing emotions as a means to survive an experience and not be overwhelmed by terror/pain/despair/horror, for example.

In some cases feeling all your feelings at once may not be appropriate or in your best interest, and for this reason they may be stored in your unconscious until times when you are better equipped to deal with and process them. It is at these times that they may be triggered by an external person or event to be released, which can be seen as an opportunity for the wound or pattern beneath to be healed.

Placing a lid on emotions, whilst understandable if they are painful, is in general not serving, however, and can simultaneously block out the positive feelings that make life so worthwhile.

When you shut down to avoid painful feelings, you shut out the light feelings too! Give yourself permission to feel.”

There are many techniques these days for releasing emotions, everything from writing them down, the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), the Sedona Method, the Release Technique, the ZPoint Process, NLP, acupuncture, expressing them through creativity, energy healing (such as Reiki), communicating them to a friend or loved one, flower essences, and many others.

Unsurprisingly, and yet so often avoided, feeling your feelings is a fast and effective way to release them.

This doesn’t mean indulging in them or giving them undue attention if they do not serve you. More, it enables them to move through you and be expressed. It takes greater energy to stuff emotions down than to experience them. Furthermore, denied and repressed emotions don’t go away, and can require numbing and distraction (through drugs, alcohol and addictions, for example).

Acknowledging, accepting and feeling an emotion will enable its release. Forgiveness, of self and others, can also liberate whole clusters of negative emotions.

Experiencing your emotions can at times feel like you’re walking into a fire – consider it a fire of purification and one that will set you free.

It may seem to get dark, and feelings more challenging initially, yet there will always be a clearing and breakthrough to light at the end of the tunnel.

The darkest hour is just before the dawn.” ~Proverb

As you release the denser energies, space is created for brighter energies to flow through you and be received- more of the love, light and magnificence that you are, and the blissful vibrations of your higher being.

It is sometimes through the dark that you find and connect to the love and light within and the eternal truth that you are loved, loving and loveable, ever and always.

The deepest truth, I believe, is that only love is real.

I share a step-by-step Releasing Emotions Process below you may like to explore to help with this if it calls you/resonates to do so.

If you are not used to being in touch with your emotions, you may feel numb and dissociated, in which case be patient as you flex your feeling muscles and do your best with the exercise.

If you are feeling particularly shut down, you can try bringing to mind a past experience when your emotions were particularly vivid and charged, and see if you can get in touch with those feelings again as a place to start, particularly if those feelings are ones that tend to resurface as part of a repeated pattern/life-story and you’d like to release.

If you would prefer to not get in touch with past feelings or think you have already processed them, obviously don’t do so. Just go with what feels appropriate for this exercise.

The idea of the below exercise is, clearly, not to wallow in negative emotions or rehash them unproductively, but to clear possible repressed or existing feelings through allowing them to be felt and expressed, hence move through you and be released. Hold that as your intention.

There can be layers of emotions and you may find it easier to access certain ones more than others, typically those more surface. For example, you may be able to get in touch with anger, yet there could be sadness, pain, or grief buried underneath that anger that it may serve you to release. Getting stuck in anger can be a way even of distracting yourself or avoiding these other more painful feelings.

As you give yourself permission to feel your feelings, they may shift and change. Allow this movement of energy as you experience your emotions and their relationship to each other.

It takes courage to feel your emotions. Painful feelings can be scary, and people can fear losing themselves or being overwhelmed by them.

Emotions bring great gifts for you however, and the more you allow yourself to be in touch with them, even the darker ones, the deeper and richer your emotional experiences will become, which includes the heights of blissful states and love, joy, wonder, delight, enchantment, and so on.

Before I move on to the Releasing Emotions Process below, I wanted to share Rumi’s poem called “The Guest House” as it is both poignant and relevant to this article.

The Guest House - By Rumi

This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all! Even if they are a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture, still, treat each guest honorably. He may be clearing you out for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice. meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.

Be grateful for whatever comes. because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.

Releasing Emotions Process

For the below process, ensure you are in a place where you will not be interupted or disturbed and where you feel free and relaxed to get in touch with your feelings.

1. Identify a feeling or emotion you wish to release. Perhaps it is one you are currently aware of or have recently experienced.

Become familiar with it. Name it. Let yourself experience it. Do you feel it somewhere in your body? If it had a colour or shape, a sound or picture, for example, what might that be?

Don’t think about it too much, just try to hone in on it as best you can to get in touch with the feeling and then experience it more fully. Be immersed by it. Step into it. Allow it to move through you and be felt.

2. Own that you are the source of this feeling. Whatever this feeling is, it is yours. Whatever the outside circumstances are that have triggered this emotion, or whatever you believe may have caused it, it is yours nonetheless.

Let go of the story around this feeling and just experience it as it exists within you now.

3. Accept this feeling without judgment. Welcome it and allow it to be there. View this emotion as energy – neither right, nor wrong, just a current of energy of some nature, whether you understand what that is or not.

4. Now really feel the emotion. Let it consume you or dive into it. Sink into this feeling further and further and get in touch with its depths.

Allow it to fill you and immerse yourself in it. It may start feeling more and more intense as deeper levels are experienced, or it may change to a different emotion. Other feelings may arise as layers that exist beneath this emotion are accessed.

5. Have you felt this feeling before/does it trigger familiar or not so unfamiliar memories or thoughts? Can you remember an earlier time in your life when you felt this same emotion? When, and what was happening at that time?

Don’t try to analyse too much, just let yourself drift back to a previous time in the past when a similar or the same emotion/state was experienced (if it feels natural and flowing to do so).

Allow yourself to travel back to the earliest time you can remember feeling this feeling and saturate yourself in the emotion (this is what I call sourcing the emotion).

6. If you find it difficult or distracting going back to a previous time or occasion, just stay with the emotion as it is in the here and now, and increase its intensity until you feel totally immersed in the feeling. Perhaps you experience it in a certain area of your body, or cursing through you. Notice any sensations and be as ‘in the emotion’ as you can.

Feeling a negative emotion can, of course, be unpleasant, painful or uncomfortable. You may try to distract yourself or belittle the process or opt out. Do your best to stay with it.

7. The feeling may begin to change or dissipate as it is released. Keep feeling as fully as possible whatever occurs. You may experience layers of emotions, as said. They may become more intense, darker or lighter, yet will inevitably lead to an experience of relief and freedom through their release. Ride the waves and allow your emotions to be experienced, whatever they be.

8. It may help to breathe deeply to release the emotions at times in this process. You may shed tears, feel like shouting out or screaming, or clench your muscles. If there’s no one around you will disturb, feel free to vocally express your feelings (you may want to scream into a pillow so as not scare the neighbours!).  You can also journal and write down your feelings at any stage if this helps, but avoid getting into your head and stay in the emotions.

Closing Notes:

• As a guide, I recommend 20 minutes for feeling a given feeling in an intense magnified way as described. Any more with one specific emotion can possibly lead to wallowing or mean you are caught up in the story or drama surrounding the emotion rather than the feeling itself. Emotions will start to shift, move, release and change when you allow them to move through you and be felt.

• During this process, notice if any particular thoughts, attitudes and beliefs come to mind about the way you, others or life is, though again, refrain from analysing. Just observe as a witness whilst being in the emotions

After the process is over you can always reflect and ask yourself the question, “What must I believe to be feeling this feeling?”

• After this exercise you may like to imbue yourself with love. Let love embrace you, wash around and through you. Ask your Higher Self, the universe, angels or guides, God, Source or whatever name appeals, to surround you with love, and allow this to gently fill you and the space created through the release of this emotion.

You might like to imagine it as a soft light surrounding you. Lilac or violet can be very healing, soothing and a high vibration, dissolving any remnants of denser energy and ‘softening your edges’ energetically so-to-speak. Pale pink can be a very nurturing and loving colour, blue calming and cooling, green healing and loving, and so on.

You may just like to ask to receive love, and open up to let it in, imagine it surrounding you and imbuing you.

Let love embrace you, wash around & through you”.

• After the exercise you can also ask to receive insight, information and learning around this emotion. Just close your eyes and be open to any insights from your Higher Self.

You may like to ask your Higher Self questions, such as how that emotion serves or disserves you, what its main root is for you in this life-time, its light and dark sides, and so forth. See if any insights surface/are revealed and note any down.

Having released the intensity of an emotion after an exercise like this, you can experience a calm and still space after, in which left-brain will be less dominant and you are more open to intuitive insights.

By Aine Belton ©

The People-Pleasing Virus!….

25^th April 2012 – Jake – You think I’m strong? Well, though I seem to be tough, I’m afraid of one thing. It’s realizing that I’ve lost the person whom I gather strength from. So don’t ever go. I’m not that strong..K.A.N.K.!

As previously stated in other blogs, after having a talk to Neytiri I always get inspired to write the next day.  These days I get nothing!  What is now apparent to me is that my Higher Power was pushing me to push Neytiri to do the Steps.  Now that we have done the Steps, our Higher Power has taken over and my role is no one of support.

So whilst Neytiri appears to be doing very little, in terms of her fear, negative feelings, beliefs, triggers, etc in the back ground, at the spiritual level, all is going according to plan.,Ish’llah


So you probably not going to get much content from me.

We believe in:

·         One God – PARMESHVAR

·         Prayer – PRATHNA

·         Rebirth – PUNARJANUM

·         Law of Action – PURUSHARTH

·         Non-Injury – PRANI DAYA or ASHIMSA

·         Joyful State of Mind - PRASANTA

Pleasing people is a wonderful thing to do when done genuinely from the heart; to give and serve are beautiful expressions of the love that you are. Neither are what I’m referring to here, however.

The ‘people-pleasing virus’ actually hinders your capacity to give and serve, because it can compromise your integrity and risks placing being approved over being real and true. Furthermore, some people-pleasing can be a form of ‘giving-to-get’, and does not come from a place of thoughtfulness for another, but is really about you.

If you dilute yourself trying to please others inauthentically, or out of sacrifice, you are no longer honouring yourself, and if you are not honouring self, you will not be honouring another either. The people-pleasing virus inhibits you from showing up and expressing your true colours.

YOU are the greatest gift you have to give others and the world – that’s why people will have attracted you into their life in the first place. You are enough just as you are!

You don’t help people by agreeing with them inauthentically, or tolerating something inappropriate out of fear, lack of self-worth, or sacrifice. Fear of judgment, rejection, losing someone, risking an argument, being disliked, being seen as ‘different’, etc., can deter people from being true to themselves and can feed the people-pleasing virus.

In all these cases, you are placing another’s opinion above your own, and above your principles and being true even, which reflects a lack of self-respect and self-esteem.

Disagreeing and saying no can at times be part of loving and respecting both yourself and another. What you tolerate in someone that is untoward, you enable, which ultimately does not serve them, or you.

When you show up as who you are, you discover who likes you for YOU. Some people may love you, and some may not. That decision may have less to do with you and more to do with them (particularly if they don’t know you, of course).

Not everyone likes celery, but fortunately celery doesn’t go changing to become an apple, as it has heaps of unique health gifts to share!

Be yourself. It’s why you’re here. There’s only one you!”

Celebrate your uniqueness. Don’t dim it through warping yourself into what you think other people want you to be or would approve of, for as soon as you diverge from who you are, you dull your shine and go off-centre.

The melody you will play most beautifully in this life is the melody of YOU, and this is your gift to the world. This is also why you are in another’s life and they are in yours. Share the music of your souls 

If you are still in the grip of the people-pleasing virus, that’s OK! We are all growing, healing and learning. Don’t judge yourself, or it. Pleasing-people can also come out of a desire to care and make others happy, and there’s certainly nothing wrong with that!

To understand some of the roots of the ‘people-pleasing virus’, I will share some personal experiences. Your experiences may be very different, of course. I share these in case of any overlapping or related themes, and as always, discard anything that does not resonate.

Growing up I lacked self-worth, which I can trace back to a number of childhood experiences and parental patterns.

No parents are perfect, and even the very best parents may have a negative impact at times. If your upbringing instilled a belief that you were ‘not enough’ in some way, you may seek to attain that ‘enoughness’ through the approval and validation of others. Of course, this is a futile quest, and is one of the triggers of the people-pleasing virus.

Self-esteem comes from within: no amount of approval ‘out there’ will ever give it to you. You can though!”

Feeling unworthy, flawed, or not good enough, can lead to people-pleasing, or at least did with me.

When I was born my mother was depressed and apologised in later years for not really having wanted me or bonding with me after birth. When sourcing the impact of this in my consciousness with some regression-type meditations I experienced a sense of valuelessness, and a feeling that who I was was not enough.

I discovered a part of me also felt that my mother’s depression was my fault – that my existence was its cause. I believe that the people-pleasing virus I experienced in later years came, in part, out of an unconscious desire to rectify/compensate for these feelings.

If you suffer from the people-pleasing virus, are you trying to quench unmet needs, gain approval, or make-up for negative self-concepts and beliefs through external validation?

Another root of people-pleasing behaviour can be fear. As a child I remember being highly sensitive to other people’s feelings, as children are, especially pain and anger. This could, in part, be because my father had a lot of repressed anger and underneath that pain, and there was often a sense of treading on egg-shells with him.

Wanting to avoid ‘rocking the boat’ in later life, I found that I often did not express my feelings or voice my opinions, needs or wishes in relationships and in general.

I also ‘learned’ people-pleasing behaviour from my mother, who was better at giving than receiving (as many mothers are), and would often put other people’s wishes and needs before her own. I learned from this that it is more important to please others than yourself. This led to sacrificial and martyr roles in relationships.

People-pleasing, at least in my experience, can also stem from feelings of guilt, which may be hidden from conscious awareness.

My father was an alcoholic and I experienced a lot of guilt around not having been able to save him. This guilt wasn’t always conscious, but it reared its head through the relationships I would attract – often addicts of some kind. Dysfunctional though it was, a part of me felt responsible for their happiness in some way, which was as unhealthy for them as it was for me.

Feeling responsible for another’s feelings or reality (unless you personally impact them) is an untrue trap. It is also arrogant. It does not empower the person you feel responsible towards in anyway, let alone you.

These are some roots of the people-pleasing virus as I’ve experienced in my own life. I believe it’s important to compassionately understand them, hence sharing as examples.

I now have a deeper understanding of why I chose these experiences at a soul level, and the gifts they hold. Through our life experiences we can discover key insights, strengths and learnings. They can help us unveil more of our true selves, the love at the heart of our being, and the unconditional love of Source/God/Creator.

When you get to the roots of the ‘people-pleasing virus’, you will find that what is needed is greater self-love and self-value.

Be kind and compassionate with yourself. Give yourself what it is you desire from others. Fill yourself up from the inside out. Know that you are loved, loving and loveable, ever and always, and that you deserve all your heart desires.

When you are self-approved you will be able to shine and share more of who you are, be radiant and happy, and live freely and openly. You will be able to give more genuinely, and help people through the presence and authenticity of your being, and the love and light that you are.

This is ultimately the best and truest way to please.

With love,

Aine Belton

5 Transcendental Truths for a Way Better Life!

Firstly, I want to point out that by ‘truth’ here, I am not intending to claim absolutes in any way, but more share some fundamental awarenesses that have rung true for me personally, and have worked positively without fail time and time again in my life.

These need not be your truths, of course, and as always, accept only that which resonates, feels true and makes your heart sing!

I do encourage you to at least ‘try them on’, however.

1. You are loved, loving and loveable, ever and always.

Love, for yourself, others and the world, is the well-spring and foundation from which all good things rise, both in the giving and receiving of that love.

You are loved totally and unconditionally by the source of creation, whatever name you hold for that. There is nothing you need DO to be loved, for you are loved completely, and there’s nothing you can do to lose that love.

You are loved in entirety, and you are loving. Whatever your past, whatever your guilt, shame, or remorse, darkness, failings or regrets you have yet to forgive yourself for, these are simply mistakes. They are not who you are. Your TRUE essential nature is beautiful, loving and kind.

Forgive yourself for all mistakes, the lost or wounded you did make.

People ‘act bad’ primarily because they feel they are bad, or because they are wounded, hurt, angry, misled, misaligned, have low self-worth or self-hate even, or hold faulty beliefs about themselves, others and the world.

The worse you feel about yourself, the worse you are likely to behave. Conversely, the better you feel about yourself, the better you are likely to behave.

Own and acknowledge your inherent worth and innate loving nature. Forgive yourself and return to the innocence that you are. You are born of love, returning to love. You are a spark of the divine. You are eternally loved, loving and loveable, always.

However separate from that love you ever feel at times, in truth it is always there for you.

2. Lessons from a butterfly: embrace change and don’t be shy!

“Change alone is eternal, perpetual, immortal.” ~ Arthur Schopenhauer

The wheel of life turns, and for a good reason, whether you know it at the time or not.

Change can always be an opening for opportunity, growth, and a better life. Trust in life’s turning seasons and be open to F L O W. The universe is always on your side.

When I talk about change here, I’m not referring to erratic, inconsistent behavior or an excuse for a lack of responsibility or commitment, but about being open, flexible and fluid, and letting your life breathe, move and DANCE to allow for growth and expansion, letting go of what does not serve you, and allowing more gifts to come in.

And of course you can be proactive with change owning and harnessing the power of your choice. What changes could you make right now to better your life?

Sometimes change begins with holding a new vision, or a new attitude, or way of thinking, and with taking small steps. As I always say…

Baby steps lead to monumental change!

What changes would instantly brighten your life? Would it be more time for rest and relaxation, or more time for fun and socializing, or ceasing certain habits (physical, mental or emotional), a change in your routine, more time in nature, more time with people, or more time alone? Is a change in job, home or relationships calling you?

And what needs to change on the inside to help with these changes? Who do you need to forgive? Yourself? Another? What thoughts, feelings, beliefs and attitudes could you change that would create a better life?

Spontaneity in itself can help to lighten your life, and initiate greater flow, rather than you’re a continued set or controlled way of doing things. If you’re too rigid or confined with plans and expectations and how things ‘should be’, it’s hard for the new and unexpected to come in, or blessings and synchronicities to arrive.

We often fear change, partly because we fear the unknown and unfamiliar, or sometimes out of loyalty to people in our past, and often because we think with change will come some kind of loss.

The next truth on letting go deals with this aspect, exploring how all endings herald a new birth!

Sometimes we fear change because we fear greater responsibility, stepping into our power, being humiliated, rejected, being visible, or any other number of reasons.

Sometimes change is scary because it involves the breakdown of something existing in our life.

Trust in the flow. Sun follows rain like day follows night.
What may seem to be going wrong may, in fact, be going right!

Trust in yourself and your power as a creator. And trust in the universe; it only ever wants the best for you.

Sometimes the road of change is rocky, tumultuous even, which is why we may fear or resist it, yet it can still be for our best.

“All great changes are preceded by chaos .” ~ Deepak Chopra

What we resist becomes more painful. What we embrace through acceptance, with the light of hope and the wings of faith, can become joyful.

Bend like the willow in the breeze and life will flow with greater ease!

If you don’t embrace change, it can become more and more painful staying where you are. If you don’t listen to the whispers they become shouts. Patterns repeat until you heal and change.

Sometimes life gives you a shake you up to help you WAKE UP!

All change can be opportunity!

3) In letting go you can only win.

This is what I regard to be a universal principle, whereby, if something is truly for your best, if you let it go, it will always come back, and if doesn’t, it’s because something better will.

Understanding this can grant a new level of faith and trust, and delete a lot of unnecessary fear, pain and resistance that comes with holding on.

Holding on actually repels that which you desire. Its energy is needy and controlling, which renders you less attractive. It doesn’t matter if you act out that energy or not, people will sense it anyway. It is sourced in fear and scarcity.

Choose instead trust and positive expectation instead. Have faith that the turning of the wheel is in your favour. Unless you’re sabotaging yourself, it always is.

When you let go, be that of a person or situation, you create the space for something new to arrive, whether that be the very thing you let go of at a new level, or something altogether brand new that would serve you better. In this sense, in letting go you can only win.

Nature abhors a vacuum. When you loosen your grip, when you empty your cup, it will ALWAYS be refilled.

You have to wholeheartedly let go though. This may include feeling the feelings and going through phases of grief, yet on the other side, a new start awaits!

At the end of any goodbye, awaits a new hello to dry the tear from your eye

As Rumi so neatly puts it, “Do not grieve . Anything you lose comes round in another form”.

Or as Carolyn Myss writes, “Everything lost is found again”.

4) Thoughts become things.

Now, this is certainly not a new idea, and with concepts like the ‘law of attraction’ and ‘mind over matter’ becoming more mainstream, it’s beginning to be more widely accepted.

That said, I think it is always worth reminding ourselves just how powerful our thoughts are.

“If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought.” ~ Peace Pilgrim

When we dissect our world to the subatomic level, we discover there is nothing solid at all!

Your world is comprised of wavelengths of energy that respond directly to your thoughts. At the deepest level, reality is essentially a reflection and extension of the entirety of your consciousness.

Of course, that consciousness reaches into other lives and the subconscious and unconscious mind, so it’s no wonder we don’t always know what’s going on or why.

That said, taking responsibility can still be freeing and empowering nonetheless; what we take responsibility for we are more able to change.

Perceived challenges, blocks or limitations ‘out there’, can be resolved by addressing and transforming the inner discordance that lies at their root.

You are source, not subject, of your world!

Life is your canvas… imagination your palate… choice & desire the brush and the strokes.

Beneath many thoughts, of course, are your beliefs, and it’s these that are most fundamental when it comes to shaping your reality, and determining your very thoughts.

You can clear negative beliefs and install positive beliefs with the Belief Buster Kit (at this link).

Your imagination is a powerful tool to breathe life into your intentions and visualize your dreams.

Putting yourself in the shoes of your brightest future, and most importantly, the positive happy feelings of that future you, is key to attracting those realities.

This is what I call Future Causation, and the Manifesting Blueprint Meditation (part of the Miracle Manifesting Program at this link ) activates this through a guided meditation to manifest your goals and encode your subconscious mind for their realization in your world.

5) Behind everyone’s eyes there’s a child somewhere inside; always be kind!

This is a reminder for daily compassion. Seek to understand and to see the innocence in all.

Everyone has a soft-centre, however well camouflaged, compensated for or covered over.

Inside, we are all much like soft boiled eggs, and have squishy hearts of gold!

It’s often the people that act the worst that are the most deprived of love, so have compassion, whilst retaining boundaries and self-respect, of course.

Acts of kindness have been proven to have mental, emotional and even physical benefits to those that deliver them, through increasing levels of oxytocin in the body.

Even relatively small acts are certainly worthwhile, for others and for you! That might be letting someone through in traffic, giving someone your seat on a train, offering sincere compliments, opening a door, taking the time to really listen, buying someone a book, feeding ducks in a pond, baking someone a cake, writing someone a thank-you card, volunteering, treating someone to lunch, writing a poem for someone, etc.

And always remember…

Kind words said in love, leave footprints on the soul.

The more you love and forgive yourself, the more compassionate you will towards others, so let the journey start with yourself.

Everyone has a soft-centre, however well camouflaged, compensated for or covered over. See the light and softness in others and it will blossom and bloom. The more beauty you see in others, the more beautiful they become, and the more beautiful YOU become too

Love and joy,

Aine Belton